Just for you! A new product with ‘unique features’ that protects your ‘health and wellbeing’!
Don’t miss your chance to ‘early access’ !
If that doesn’t sound fishy to you, already, you’ve got a lot to learn.
This product not only guides you to better sleeping habits and a healthier lifestyle, it ‘impartially improves your relationships’! Yes…it offers you ‘award points’ for positive behavior and deducts points for improper behavior. (Not to be confused with Communist China’s citizenship merit system.)
It’s ALL about helping YOU!
One delightful feature, takes a 3D measurement of your body offering a ‘non-judgemental ‘analysis of your body fat ! That’s right folks! Who needs those fat shaming doctors?
The wristband (aka health band) has a camera, microphone, and the capability of compiling data on your sleeping and movement patterns. (Of course, we guarantee all data is deleted after processing.)
BUT WAIT… this little beauty interprets your ‘tone’ when interacting with others. That’s right! It not only let’s you know that something is triggering unpleasant, unhealthy, emotions for you, it serves as a guidance to how OTHERS may interpret your words.
And you thought personal health was about you personally? NOPE, how the world perceives you is JUST as important, silly. (Remember We ARE the World?)
So… get yourself in on the Early Access plan. A wristband at a reduced cost AND a free 6 month subscription to an operation center (which refuses to look at your data).