Posted in In my humble opinion...

Sunday Poser #133- Discernment

Sadje has asked us a complicated question today:

I very much like to hang on to old ways. Hand-written letters are one of them. No text can replace the sincere personal interest contained in a letter.
BUT… technology has opened up many exciting and good things.
I was that kid running to our set of encyclopedias often. It was time consuming to get information ‘back in the day’. The access to information is delightfully easy now. With the access to information, I had to sharpen a new skill. It’s an exceptionally useful one! It’s called discernment. The encyclopedias were accepted as “the whole truth” but since the internet and “out in the open” modern day misleading and propagandized information, being critical in thought has become an important skill. Total trust can create complacency. I think we’re in a big societal mess today primarily from former complacency.
Divining the truth has never been more available though (unless deliberately censored). Knowing that we need to put a bit of energy into our inquiries isn’t, at all, bad. Those encyclopedias were actually naively relied upon and never questioned. But the intellectually lazy will always lag behind. [Too bad they have the loudest voices and biggest platforms these days. 😢]
Even the revelation that censorship and biases exist, has been a useful tool. Nothing increases my curiosity more than information that seems ‘hidden’ or has been suddenly removed. That’s a big red target on where “the truth'” may be lurking. Quite an effective shortcut for the curious.

I feel as though I owe someone a fruit basket for the obvious misdirection during “The Pandemic”. It created my path to dealing extremely well with Covid-19 and certainly eased my mind once I realized that FEAR, in the form of ‘lies’ and doctored statistics, was a clearly manufactured effort to control our population. 🤔👍😂

Posted in In my humble opinion...

Sunday Poser #27- Shame, Shame, on Lazy Parents

Sadje has asked another excellent question.

This week my question is;

Do you think how we turn out is in our control?

My answer is a resounding “yes” and “no”.

We are individually predisposed to our own variety of reactions to Life’s litany of experiences.
The quiet introspective child will respond differently from the impulsive risk-taking child to the same (or similar) situations.
Neither is better equipped than the other, but their ‘journeys’ will obviously take different ‘paths’.
So, in that sense, we are each ‘slaves’ to our inborn tendencies.

Yet, in each situation we also have the capacity to make choices. Sometimes they are choices that are the ‘lesser of two evils’ and sometimes they are choices according to values and goals.
What makes life even more of a gambit is that none of us get to become adults without passing through the “tempest time” of being a teenager.
Gosh! It’s hard to watch. So much of their future successes depend on making ‘wise’ decisions during a time when their own wisdom is in low supply.
We can appeal to them but no longer have much influence on them. This is why we call the preteens, the “formative years”. Their values and decision-making skills are already formed by our involved parenting.

{A short opinion rant is coming. Viewers are advised to use discretion. LOL }

Tell me again about the modern concept of “free range parenting”?!
Offering little guidance or instruction to young children isn’t just “lazy”, it’s cruel and amounts to criminal neglect offering no compassion for their futures. It also makes our entire society and culture vulnerable to unscrupulous influences.
Shame on those who fail to guide their children! [Yes… I lost my cool. Sometimes there are topics that require it. 😉 ]

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Sunday Poser #117- Pay it forward…Never look back.

Sadje’s Sunday Poser brought to my mind a beautiful memory along with the usual ‘food for thought’.

Doing generous acts of kindness feels SO satisfying.
I’ve often wondered if getting such satisfaction from it wasn’t a little self-serving because I get so much pleasure from it.

I’ve described doing such things as similar to Johnny Appleseed who spread his seeds hoping that some would grow. He didn’t need to stand around waiting for that ‘fruit’ because he had faith that some would take root. It wasn’t in his hands to tend them or even find out which ones grew. He got enough satisfaction from the act.

That’s how I see “Paying it forward”.

A few, maybe 5 now, years ago, a lady was walking through our grocery store wearing a gentle smile and carrying a bouquet of roses. She was about 60 years old. When our eyes met, she walked up to me and asked would I like a rose? (I love flowers but wondered what ‘the catch’ was yet there was something about her that made me graciously accept a rose.)
Then she made my whole day and gave me a memory that still warms my heart.

She explained that she was the caretaker for an elderly woman who no longer was mobile enough to come to the grocery herself. The woman said that the elderly lady asked her to purchase a bunch of roses and hand out some ‘sunshine’ for her.
(I’m tearing up as I write this.)
I never asked for that beautiful soul’s name, but I assure you that her act of kindness has not been forgotten. I’m proud I am able to share it further with all of you.

Sometimes I wonder if that lady has passed on to Heaven. We all know that she would be welcomed home there.
I hope she somehow knows how far that kind gesture has traveled.

Posted in In my humble opinion..., Writing Prompts

Sunday Poser #115- Nope

I wouldn’t give my younger self advice.

First, I understand how many of you might think, “Here she goes again. Taking a simple question and turning it inside out.”

But this question troubles me. I fully understand the spirit of the question.
Would I warn myself about a harmful decision or a bad habit?

My answer is still “No.”

To modify your past would change your “now “and future. [FULL STOP]

We can’t be sure if the change would be ‘for the better’ or not, but things would definitely be changed. Every mistake you’ve made to get where you are today was impactful in getting you here. (Even what we think is “little” can’t be counted on to be ‘little’ in a long-term effect on your life journey. – Look up The Butterfly Effect for more information. – )

I also wouldn’t consider messing with the natural order of things ‘as they are’ especially because I’m quite happy with my life.
The whole bundle of what has happened before brought me here. I wouldn’t be the “today’s me” if I hadn’t had boatloads of trials, mistakes, and troubles, that (I hope) I learned from. I also suspect that having had a crystal ball helping me to avoid all those ‘happenings’ would have opened me up to worse pain. I have noticed that many kids who have been protected from early consequences of their bad actions, and decisions, frequently pay far bigger prices later on.
I think life works just about the same way.

IMHO…Woulda, shoulda, coulda isn’t a healthy place to dwell, either.

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Sunday Poser #114- Non-binary Thinking

Thank-you Sadje for this great question.

What do you think works better; Criticizing or praising?

This question in order to be ‘to the point’ enters a realm that haunts our society which is, binary or black and white critiques. I’m not faulting the question in the least. It perfectly describes a modern tendency to suggest life is a series of either/or decisions.

Either you’re in favor of helping Ukraine or you’re siding with the Russians.
Either you take the vaccine or you’re willing to kill ‘grandma’.
Either you vote against Trump or you’re a white supremacist.

You get the drift. And if you’re intelligent and fair minded, you realize that those examples are blatantly oversimplified and unfair. IMHO…It is a dangerous game to reduce human topics and troubles to that binary place.

So, criticizing and praising aren’t cancelling forces. Each can come with good or bad intentions. Depending upon who is offering criticism, it can automatically take on a modified nature. Loved ones and trusted friends offer criticism usually because they care. It isn’t as sharp-edged as that from strangers. Praising can also be for good or ulterior motives. If you’re having a conversation with anyone, usually both criticism and praise can be, and should be, present.

Praise in excess can be just as destructive as excessive criticism too. (Have you noticed any spoiled, entitled, children around?)

My answer comes down to the recommendation to refrain from using either tactic in excess. And always use those two practices in close proximity to each other within every discussion when you’re able. Better relationships and better understanding among people will be created. I think we all want that.

How we unique individuals choose to deal with praise and/or criticism is an even more complex and sensitive question. Psychologists have studied that one for years.

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Sunday Poser #110- Who are YOU?

I had to think on this question for a short while. None popped to mind. I’m not inclined to worry much about other people’s opinions on what I’m doing but I am, I assure you, human.

Since I don’t “keep tabs” on people, in general, I find that I can be poor at remembering people. I am quite attentive to them when we’re introduced but I don’t hold on to “who they are ” efficiently. That being the case, I’m embarrassed a bit when people approach me, and I don’t know who the heck they are! Especially when they know my name.
Being flawed in that way, I’m pretty good at faking it until I can place them but ultimately, I’ll apologize and have to ask now and then.
A comment like, “Oh, hi. How is everyone?” can sometimes offer me a name in their response that will spark my memory. LOL
Even when I do remember, I often confess to having been unsure. Then I make fun of myself for being so forgetful. Most people appreciate that.
[ I’ve known hundreds of local families through my day care profession and many times it’s a child’s aunt or teacher with whom I only briefly interacted.]

Posted in In my humble opinion..., Writing Prompts

Sunday Poser #109- Looking Good

Looking good; Is it vanity or a requirement?

Oh my! This is right up my alley but not the way you might expect.

My attire is 98% about my own comfort. When I’m occasionally color coordinated, it’s a happy accident.

I maintain a good hygiene practice of combing my hair and washing my face, etc. BUT I care not one-bit what others think of me beyond that. I can go all week without looking into a mirror. LOL

In order to show respect, I do “dress-up” for weddings, funerals, and public functions but ordinarily I’m comfortable. My life is more of an internal existence so my outward appearance (which I deem a display for the public) is not of any importance to me.

Those who do look nice are a pleasure to behold yet there are many who seem to try too hard and are (unintentionally) off-putting. “Ladies, you’re beautiful just the way you are!”
If people seem happy and comfortable, any direct focus on their attire doesn’t even register.

LOL… I’m a terrible confidant for those who wish to discuss things that I don’t even notice. People’s weight, new shoes, and hair styles aren’t important to me. Let me tell you about their easy smile or direct eye contact. Those are the things that impress me.