It’s a puzzle to me how I can feel immediate connections to people who are technically ‘strangers’ and feel uncomfortable around some family members.
When I go to the grocery store, I find the outing interesting and, as a ‘people watcher’, informative. I’m not one to consider what people are wearing as often as I find their ‘body language’ and willingness to ‘connect’ fascinating. To me, there are as many untold stories as there are people.
I don’t know whether I fancy myself as a scientist, psychologist, or detective. Just call me “endlessly curious”. LOL
I think each of us have felt a ‘connection’ with a stranger at least a few times. The young mother who smiles while you’re playing peekaboo with her toddler or the man who keeps looking at his watch while waiting outside of a store that you offer a “life gets so hectic” commiseration to.
Sometimes those gestures fall flat and sometimes they don’t. And sometimes you connect in a far deeper way.
I’ve had people, whom I had exchanged pleasantries or glances in the aisles, who happened to follow me at the check-out where we just fell into a conversation as if we’d known each other for years.
Last week, I was paying for gas at a gas station where I’m a ‘regular’. I already have a rapport with the clerk. When I couldn’t find small bills in my bag, I said,” I’ll have lots of dollar bills by Friday but not now.” She got an amused look on her face and said, “Why? Do you have a second job?” (I knew she was thinking about a pole dancer.)
All the while an elder gent was standing behind me in line.
I said,” Yes. But what a cheap crowd! I’d like fives or tens once in a while.”
Then she said, “I’d ask for fifties and hundreds!”
(She’s a cute little lady in her mid-twenties.)
I said, “You probably could, but I’m 66 years old, don’t forget.”
Well, at this point the gent bursts into a belly laugh. Once he caught his breath, he thanked us both for a laugh like he hadn’t had in a long time.
For a moment, we three had found a ‘connection’. Anyone walking in at that moment, would have been an immediate ‘outsider’.
Why does that happen?
We can find out we ‘like’ people while we don’t even have to have an opinion about others. There’s no reason to consider ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’… there just seems to be ‘connected’ or ‘unknown’.
There does seem to be a sub-category of ‘unknown’ people. You know. The ones who leave us scratching our heads. They seem nice but they’re on a totally different ‘wavelength’.
That type can be a family member or a stranger. If you consider someone a friend, IMHO that mysterious ‘connection’ factor already must exist.
The people we allow to connect with each of us must have a subliminal ‘recipe’ that we can subtly recognize. It also seems that all individuals are not meant to connect with just anyone. The pressure to automatically ‘love’ and ‘respect’ (or feel connected with) every single human being has always felt too ‘large’ of an expectation. IMHO… we’re meant to selectively connect and ignore the rest. They’ll find their own connections elsewhere, I’m sure.
I don’t believe I’ll ever come close to figuring out “What causes our human connections?”. But I’m so happy that they exist!
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