Unanswered Question: Why has our “live and learn” philosophy gone missing?

Anonymous Quote: “You live, you learn, and you upgrade.”
This morning my granddaughter texted me from school asking to be “signed out” and for a ride home. It took only a few minutes by text to confirm her mom’s okay and let her know that I was on my way. How cool is that?
It probably doesn’t seem extraordinary to anyone under 25 but the development of technology during my lifetime has given us many good outcomes. That ‘good’ news is currently overshadowed by a flood of bad news about the ‘evil’ perpetrated online. Who didn’t imagine a ‘downside’ to something that brought us so much good? It’s there. Let’s learn and adapt.

We mustn’t ignore the ‘bad’. Gosh, it’s scary to think about. But it seems complaining and outrage has overtaken the old philosophy of “live and learn”. Any innovation to solve problems doesn’t seem to ‘rule the day’. Doesn’t anyone remember “necessity is the mother of invention”? Most of what we call ‘progress’ was born from a problem that needed to be solved.

But there’s more to this morning’s tale…
My daughter gave us the ‘thumbs up’ on the dismissal but my son-in-law wasn’t told about it in the interest of time. Before my granddaughter and I got home, I stopped for a gallon of milk at a convenience store. While there, my granddaughter’s phone lit up with a message from Dad.
“What are you doing at a store? You’re supposed to be at school.”

Ahhh. I remember during the early days of cellphones imagining ways kids could mislead their parents about their location. [ We were once teenagers ourselves. You can’t possibly imagine that they wouldn’t find that loophole.]

But the necessity of parents to keep track of their kids encouraged them to ‘learn’ and caused the development of an app that would notify them of their child’s cellphone location. Genius! That innovation has endless potential in favor of safety.

Bad things can be tamed, even conquered, when we promote innovation. [That’s a large part of our American spirit.]

Why does it lately appear that we’re trending toward just ‘banning things’ as the go-to, inefficient, and lazy solution?
Didn’t we learn anything from Prohibition?

Seems like our society is taking a really bad turn. There’s a lot of ‘banning’ proposed. Even worse, there’s a clear movement toward simply indulging our problems rather than creating solutions to them. This widespread surrender of problem solving isn’t going to end well. I don’t even know where it came from.

A rise in homelessness? Give them tents.
A rise in drug abuse? Give them the tools to use.
A rise in single motherhood? Offer them abortions.

I didn’t intend for this to be what many might consider a “political” post. I don’t think it is at all. “Giving up” isn’t a political topic. It’s a tragedy for us all.

I can’t imagine why “live and learn” has been replaced with “whatever”.

So, I am asking, why has that philosophy gone missing?







Simply 6 Minutes- 1-17-23- Spoiled Much?

For this challenge, Christine asks us to write a story in just 6 minutes inspired by the photo below. If you’d like to join, follow the link at the bottom of this post.

Amanda was an only child and had moved out of her family home 9 years and 4 months ago leaving many of her personal items behind.
At first, her excuse not to take them was because of her tiny efficiency off-campus apartment.
Then, she graduated and moved across the country.
And two years ago, she got married and had a child.
Every time her mother expressed a desire to ‘clean up’ Amanda’s old room, she absolutely refused for anyone else to ‘rummage’ through “her memories”.
Finally, her mom and dad decided to sell their family home and buy a motorhome for doing some long ‘wished for’ traveling.
Her mom boxed up every little item including stuffed animals, dried up hair conditioner, and a deflated balloon from Amanda’s 17th birthday.
When Amanda received the hastily packed box ‘postage due’ she had a hissy fit. Everything clearly had been dumped into it!
Inside the box, she found this note:

Dear Amanda,
Here are the “memories” that you’ve somehow forgotten. There was absolutely no rummaging involved in the packing of this box. Consider the price of ‘postage due
the accumulated storage fee that was accruing for 9 years. No need to thank us for the family discount price.

You’re welcome just the same.
Love,

Mom and Dad



https://christinebialczak.com/2023/01/17/simply-6-minutes-welcome-to-the-challenge-01-17-2023/

Don’t Underestimate Children

There’s a thread in many modern-day discussions that honestly perplexes me. I often hear that the color of someone’s skin or gender must be represented equally in all media in order for children to have role models, otherwise, they have no idea who to emulate.

Is that true?

I don’t want to assume anyone else’s viewpoint, but that idea never has occurred to me.

I grew up during a time when women were undervalued as role models especially in the cinematic arena, yet I never once examined a role model on such superficial grounds. Understandably, most of my “heroes” were men during a time when women were oft portrayed as running through the jungle in high heels and pearl necklaces. LOL But my heroes weren’t ever examined (by me) as anything other than courageous, principled, and unselfish. All those things were based on character and none of them ever seemed to be out of my reach. Those were qualities that I deemed heroic no matter who had them.

Nowadays, adults are suggesting black little girls are incapable of having heroes who weren’t ever “black little girls” or little boys can’t look up to Margaret Thatcher or Harriet Tubman! Give me a break. Are these people aware of how many children have been inspired by a parent of the opposite sex?
A ‘good’ and ‘heroic’ character has no specific color or gender. Kids can understand the difference. (I’m speaking as a kid who did that.)

What’s particularly disturbing about this new “progressive” trend is the early message it sends. That emphasis on race and gender are overshadowing the ease with which all people can perceive ‘good character’. I haven’t decided whether the foundation of that viewpoint is malicious or just utterly ignorant.

Let me tell you how easily we can- without intending to-send destructive messages.

In my early years, dentistry check-ups were becoming more humane and available by leaps and bounds. People, my parent’s age, had grown up during a more barbaric period and legitimately feared going to the dentist. Although kids my age were not in danger of much discomfort (Now there’s almost no discomfort.), it was a common practice for parents to encourage their children while enroute to the dentist to “be brave”. The level of fear and avoidance of preventative dental care continued way beyond what was expected simply because of that loving reminder. Proper dental care was set back for at least a decade!

Another angle on “kids aren’t stupid” is found in the TV my generation watched. The Honeymooners would make feminists and “Me Too” activists faint if it were a new show. Ralph Kramden was a blowhard and male chauvinist to the core. Those who believe kids mimic all behaviors they witness (and only behaviors of those they ‘look like’) might also think every boy would have automatically copied Ralph’s attitude. But kids aren’t mindless and the only adults who kids actually mimic are predominantly their parents. Ralph came off as a silly man who was lucky to have Alice (who never appeared to be even slightly frightened). I didn’t know any kid who thought he was an admirable character. He was actually a laughable example of how foolish those attitudes were in plain sight! Kids knew better then and would know better now.

So, kids can easily discern fools from heroes and phonies from those with real character. They’re occasionally better at it than many adults. Children operate on almost all instinctive levels while adults concern themselves with etiquette and status often ignoring their instincts thus second guessing their perceptions.

Protecting kids from “life” creates ill-equipped and easily led adults. If you don’t believe it look around. Aggrieved and overwhelmed youth are everywhere. IMHO… that could have been avoided if we hadn’t started underestimating them.


Eugi’s Weekly Prompt-Hazy- January 25, 2022- Note to Parents

See the source image

When they’re feeling hazy and striving to be polite,
Parents lose their clarity between what’s ‘day’ and ‘night’.

Kids don’t know the difference.
They need a solid view.
Don’t forget your purpose,
You must tell them what to do.

You’re not being mean or bossy,
It’s kinder. Be a guide.
To give kids blind consenting rights,
Is no way to take their side.

You wouldn’t let them wander
Alone on streets at night.
They have no moral compass yet,
So, teach them ‘wrong’ from ‘right’.

Your job as an adviser,
Is to translate where to go.
Dismiss the whack pop culture,
And tell them what YOU know.

They’ll thank you in the future.
They’ll feel more ‘safe and sound’.
You’ll arm them with a purpose
With their feet upon the ground.

Probity’s the treasure that
Thieves are ripe to rob.
Guard all children’s innocence,
And kindly do your job.

Example Rules

Al Sharpton
Al Sharpton (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was remembering one of my first triumphs at school. It was an aptitude test on English grammar. In second grade, we were asked to choose the correct form of a word to plug into a sentence. Since we had no formal grammatical training before the test, I was very pleased to “ace” it.
Why did I have those skills at age eight? Simply because proper grammar was spoken in my home.
The English language has rules… not the kind meant to restrict our behavior, but those which apply in order to keep us on “the same page” and in the “same game”.
When I consider the modern distaste for rules, in general, and the emphasis on diversity, I realize many young parents are throwing an obstacle into their children’s education (and success) when they refuse to use proper grammar.
I understand that bilingual households are at a disadvantage automatically. All the more reason, in my opinion, for parents to school themselves in proper English.
Language has little to do with culture, so the clinging to slang and the blocking of the kids’ understanding of the rules of English grammar in the home, make no sense.
Al Sharpton is an intelligent man…Yet, he talks in a “street” dialect that, I assume, is an attempt to be “common” and endearing to the African American community. He “ain’t” helping anyone by confusing folks about English enunciation and grammar. Especially those people who have never lived in an environment where the rules of English were followed. Leading by example would be more helpful and honorable, in my opinion. Breaking other rules may gain a person attention and bravado but the rules of English language, once ignored, are terribly difficult to reclaim.
So, when parents consider helping their children’s efforts for a good education, the most important edge they can offer is the example of good grammar spoken at home.

Schools-what do we learn?

homeschooling afternoon
homeschooling afternoon (Photo credit: hbakkh)

There is an urban myth that public schooling is the best method by which we can teach children social skills. In fact, that is the primary argument against home-schooling. I beg to differ.

There’s a growing concern that public schools are failing our kids in a BIG way. There are many dedicated teachers, who do an excellent job, but the teachers’ unions protect not only the good teachers but the bad ones too.

When we are faced with the expensive and ,I believe, better alternative of home-schooling, there is the concern about the proper “socialization” of these kids.

We don’t do “sex education” before we feel a child is mature enough but we send kids off to school, at a tender age, for their first exposure to bullies, ridicule and peer pressure. They will be measured by grades and learning styles and will be kept in the classroom for the great majority of their learning experience. Hopefully, this classroom will have an orderly atmosphere and a small group but that is not guaranteed. Actually, it’s a “crap shoot” that your child’s classmates will be a “good” group. Sometimes, there is a larger number of “mis-behavers” and that is simply up to chance and timing. Teachers are not to blame,at all, but ask them and they will volunteer, readily, their memories of “good groups”.

A home-schooled child can visit real-life situations (grocery stores, parks, libraries etc.), as often as, Mom or Dad deems necessary. A “busy” child can be offered hands-on experiences and more breaks, as often as, he/she needs and the parent can correct bad manners as they present themselves in those real life situations.

There are youth sports and music organizations, available to the public, for the lessons needed in cooperation, and the taking of instruction from authority figures other than parents. The education is ongoing, year round, when the “teachers” are always present and fully aware of the curriculum.

It is so very sad that most parents haven’t the option of home-schooling. I do expect a growing trend of home-schooling, though. Families may re-evaluate the need and budget in a way to make it happen. Actually, the current stress on incomes causing grandparents to become household members, may offer them as home-school teachers or helpers with the family budget, affording parents the chance to teach.

The whole idea of home-schooling being a poor option is simply, not true, and cannot be supported by urban legends.

Those who have the ability and means to do it, have my thumbs up.

Tipsy Does it…Egg Story

                                                                                                                                

My mommy tipped the eggs out.

They dropped upon the floor.

She couldn’t see it coming,

As they balanced on the door.

I feel I should have warned her,

I saw her put them back.

The ones that were leftover,

She forgot to stack.

If eggs are all together,

  Don’t  fill the end of crate.

“Cuz they’ll be spilling  over,

Next time you’re running late.

Balance is that something,

You’d think our parents knew.

Keep eggs right in the middle, folks,

Or you’ll be cleaning too.