Yesterday, I brought up a video during a conversation that had impacted my understanding of people many years ago. I was talking with my mother and sister. I’ve always had the feeling that we each found the other’s temperament a little ‘off putting’.
If you have 20 minutes to give the video below, it may help you to understand others better. That odd, ‘off balance’, feeling we can have even with people we love (and/or like) might have an explanation. [The video is quite entertaining too!]
People are FAR more than their temperaments, but our temperaments are quite a baseline measure of how we approach life.
The varying approaches of individuals are fascinating, often maddening, to us. It’s nice to consider that we aren’t just ‘doing it wrong’. We may be approaching everything with different expectations.
I think this guy (Mark Gungor) pretty much nails down the ways we vary by temperament.
I was a person from “Fun Country” sitting in the same room with my sister, from “Peace Country” and my mother, from “Perfect Country”. [BTW… I married a man from “Control Country”.]
If asked, I believe we would all admit that we’ve had moments when our understanding of each other was strained. Recognizing our differences at the elemental temperamental level gives me a better plan for making myself understood to them… and behaving more patiently while trying to understand them.
So, I ask, “Might our temperaments cause misunderstanding?”
I think so. Enjoy!
I was having an exchange with a blogger friend this morning when my cellphone went off. The song below is my current ringtone.
The topic of our conversation boiled down to an agreement that we are much more than our ‘political’ viewpoints. Let’s face it, somehow our enjoyment of everything has been damaged by media making all topics political.
I then looked up the clip from Sister Act:2 from which this joyful rendition came because it makes me happy.
Before me was Whoopi Goldberg, someone who is viciously political in ‘real life’…I looked past that.
Then I realized how long I’ve had ‘issues’ with the Catholic Church…I looked past that.
I further wondered if some people would be put off by any ‘religious’ theme… might they look past that?
What was before me was simply a heartwarming performance of a beautiful song by kids singing their hearts out in joy!
I love this clip. The song speaks to me. I didn’t need to entertain unpleasant aspects of what I could see. My heart is happy that I didn’t. I found the “beautiful” in it and the “beautiful” is getting harder to find.
Let’s all seek joy and goodness anywhere we can find it. Check our biases, complaints, and politics at the door and LOOK for it.
There’s a time and place for those things, of course, but without experiencing a BIG picture, now and then for balance, we’ll lose our humanity.
I’m willing to bet our media wants us to stay ‘lost’.
Please enjoy this clip with me. ❤
Thanks to Rory for today’s questions!
What is the best way to cook an egg, and what is your favourite egg dish?
I never met an egg I didn’t like. Since “variety is the spice of life”, surprise me any time with the preparation.
My most frequently chosen method of ordering eggs at a restaurant, is either a spinach, egg, mushroom and cheese omelet or eggs benedict. As for home, ‘over easy’ with bacon and fruit on the side. There’s something about a salty and sweet presentation in a meal that’s dreamy, delicious.
What makes for a good listener, and are you one, or do you only hear people as noise?
I don’t like crowds, but I do like individuals. My favorite conversations are the ‘one on one’ kind. I spend a lot of time in a solitary existence while ‘thinking’ which sometimes causes me to ‘spill over’ when someone engages with me. This is something I’m hoping to tame. I so dearly hope to be heard yet sometimes I fail to listen. I am usually way ahead of others in the natural thought progression on a topic because I’ve already thought about most basic questions and have answers. But I really need to bite my tongue more and listen to others. My preplanned/pre-thought retorts are not received well, and I do want other people to feel ‘heard’ too. I’m working on it. Wish me luck!
How well can you control your emotions, and is it hard to keep them in check with moments and times when you feel passionate or angry with others or situations?
I’ve been accused of being nearly impossible to insult. Somewhere along the way in my life of learning, I realized that “losing one’s cool” offers nothing good. If there’s a life-threatening emergency, those who panic often are more likely to die. If someone is trying to get ‘under your skin’, allowing them to get what they want is foolish. If someone is behaving irrationally, they may just be asking for or in need of some help. The only time you don’t want to ‘test me’ is if there’s any instance of an elderly person, animal, or child, being abused. Let me just say, don’t make me that kind of angry, you won’t like what happens.
Having said all of that…I’m sure the temperaments we are born with actually rule our reactions most. 😉
Is it necessary for you to be remembered by others for your contribution to life?
During my career of caring for children, this question occurred to me. I believe anyone who mentors children has a deep desire to be remembered. But I don’t think it’s my name that I want remembered, it’s about those inspirational positive moments when I made an impression on them that they will (hopefully) carry to their children, and so on. Having and/or raising children, IMHO, is the most important thing anyone can do to positively impact the future.
What an interesting morning in the ‘blogosphere’ I’ve had. It seems to have produced a treasure trove of thoughts and questions.
My Unanswered Question for today was inspired by one of those exchanges. A subject of great interest to me is the evolution of environments kids grow up in.
I’ve already examined the dynamic changes in the make-up and size of nuclear families. There’s still ‘meat’ on that bone to take up later.
But my unique vantage point afforded by providing childcare for 46 years, has given me a clearer view of the timeline of changes in the realm of ‘being a kid’ than most people would have had.
The most mind-blowing thing I discovered my granddaughter doing recently was observing her watching videos of other children playing. It didn’t seem to be a curious inquiry that might inspire a game that she could play. It was merely a form of entertainment.
Her response when asked (probably a little too judgmentally), “What the heck are you doing?!” was, “I’m just bored.”.
She predictably rolled her eyes at my ‘all too familiar’ response of “Read a book.” before I pulled out some paints and invited her to the table.
Then it hit me. How many of you had parents who answered the “I’m bored.” complaint with a chore or a request for us to “Go outside and play with your friends, then.”?
Kids just can’t go outside on an impulse anymore. And sadly, there aren’t a bunch of other kids nearby either.
We had something they don’t… The opportunity to explore and ‘boredom’ inspired some of our best adventures!
The changes to our children’s and grandchildren’s environment didn’t stop at ‘less safety’ and fewer friends. It came from an attitude adjustment inspired by those things. Exploration had been replaced by entertainment.
I hope those of you still reading this can imagine the tragedy in the last statement. One broadens the mind, and the other broadens the “behind”. One embraces curiosity and creativity, and the other discourages those things.
Too many ‘old folks’ tend to immortalize their childhoods as the BEST, but this ‘old person’ can’t imagine that this ‘kernel’ of change is a ‘good’ thing.
Knowing that kids are learning to require entertainment certainly explains a lot of our current troubles. It comes down to expecting ‘boredom’ to be a ‘bad’ thing AND suggests that a person’s environment has an obligation to offer ‘entertainment’ instead of it coming from within.
My head is banging the table as I consider today’s question.
WHY DID BOREDOM HAVE TO BECOME A ‘BAD’ THING?
I’d gotten a lot more rest than usual lately over the long weekend. We each have a personal quota so when my dog got me up at 2:00 am, I had a few hours of wide ‘awakeness’.
My thoughts started where they usually do with a stream of experiences I’ve had inspiring awe with the wonders of Mother Nature. Then I considered all the ‘urbanized’ people who might not have witnessed nature as I have had the privilege to do.
Oh, the places I went from there!
Much of the discontent, crime, and hopelessness, seems concentrated in urban areas these days. Why? People are people and I thought we needed the same things. Maybe we most urgently do.
My stream of consciousness eventually brought me to a profound (not necessarily correct) conclusion.
The over domestication of human beings is dangerous to their happiness and well-being.
The same thing has happened to animals. Wild animals can fend for themselves, and understand the natural world, but dogs, cattle, and parakeets, are at a terrible survival disadvantage since they’ve been kept for so long.
I’ve known some ‘city’ people who have visited places that were natural for the first time and been overwhelmed by all the things they didn’t know and didn’t even know they didn’t know.
There’s a rhythm in the natural world that human beings can, and IMHO should, know about.
One in particular is the awareness of a ‘line’, more like a pause, between night and day. Having tented and camped in forests throughout my life, I’ve witnessed it.
There’s a time about an hour before dawn when the summer night sounds pause for about 2 to 5 minutes. Crickets grow quiet, and owls stop hooting, leaving a dramatic silent pause before the morning birds joyously sing greetings to the new day. Witnessing THAT can change a person. The recognition of amazing forces at work that we humans cannot take credit for is humbling!
That pause was my personal choice for the most magical natural event (seconded by meteor showers) but there are countless others. I have no doubt human beings are meant to be part of those natural rhythms too. But how would city people even know about them? Their surroundings are removed and artificial in comparison to those who have access to the natural world.
I wonder if those seemingly lost people are starving for something they don’t even know exists. Could they be feeling incomplete? Might the lack of any natural connection be adding to the growing complaints about life having ‘no meaning’?
Well, at 3:30 this morning, my answer to those questions was “yes”.
My overall question is “Do those city people know what they’re missing?”
I try not to be a ‘complainer’. But I don’t believe complaining is bad as long as it’s not overdone. Paula’s Monday Peeve is always interesting. As my blog’s primary purpose is to serve as a future reference for my granddaughters, I think they ought to get a glimpse of things that ‘get under my skin’. What bothers us is a window into our views and values.
As I was reading Paula’s post, I was listening to TV. There was a popular doctor on talking about the pros and cons of the Covid shot. Fine advice when/if it can be ‘backed up’ with data. BUT there’s no doubt in my mind that much data is being collected with ANY efficiency.
The statements that really irk me are: “You won’t get as sick (as you would have) with Covid-19 if you’ve been vaccinated.” and “You’re less likely to be placed on a ventilator too.” [In medicine, every person’s case has many other variables!]
<WHAT A CROCK>
I have firsthand knowledge about the ‘helter skelter’ data collection on this virus. I personally know people who were ill and never actually ‘tested’ for Covid-19. Nobody to this day knows which variant they had because they weren’t tested, and also, no one used a “How sick are you?” meter, either. Who knows how or if those persons’ situations were reported? I hope you know that nobody is really interested in counting or compiling that kind of data.
So, any claim of “knowledge” by TV doctors, especially when it comes to guessing about what may happen or which variants are raging, is a fairy tale. They don’t even have a clear count on what has happened.
The claim that “you won’t get as sick if…” is pure fiction.
They should stick to warnings that they can back up like: “You won’t be a victim of shark attacks if you don’t swim in the ocean.” or “You’re far less likely to die from fentanyl poisoning if you don’t use medication that hasn’t been prescribed to you.”
The TV fortune telling, in the name of experts and science, ought to stop.
I wouldn’t give my younger self advice.
First, I understand how many of you might think, “Here she goes again. Taking a simple question and turning it inside out.”
But this question troubles me. I fully understand the spirit of the question.
Would I warn myself about a harmful decision or a bad habit?
My answer is still “No.”
To modify your past would change your “now “and future. [FULL STOP]
We can’t be sure if the change would be ‘for the better’ or not, but things would definitely be changed. Every mistake you’ve made to get where you are today was impactful in getting you here. (Even what we think is “little” can’t be counted on to be ‘little’ in a long-term effect on your life journey. – Look up The Butterfly Effect for more information. – )
I also wouldn’t consider messing with the natural order of things ‘as they are’ especially because I’m quite happy with my life.
The whole bundle of what has happened before brought me here. I wouldn’t be the “today’s me” if I hadn’t had boatloads of trials, mistakes, and troubles, that (I hope) I learned from. I also suspect that having had a crystal ball helping me to avoid all those ‘happenings’ would have opened me up to worse pain. I have noticed that many kids who have been protected from early consequences of their bad actions, and decisions, frequently pay far bigger prices later on.
I think life works just about the same way.
IMHO…Woulda, shoulda, coulda isn’t a healthy place to dwell, either.