Sunday Poser #115- Nope

I wouldn’t give my younger self advice.

First, I understand how many of you might think, “Here she goes again. Taking a simple question and turning it inside out.”

But this question troubles me. I fully understand the spirit of the question.
Would I warn myself about a harmful decision or a bad habit?

My answer is still “No.”

To modify your past would change your “now “and future. [FULL STOP]

We can’t be sure if the change would be ‘for the better’ or not, but things would definitely be changed. Every mistake you’ve made to get where you are today was impactful in getting you here. (Even what we think is “little” can’t be counted on to be ‘little’ in a long-term effect on your life journey. – Look up The Butterfly Effect for more information. – )

I also wouldn’t consider messing with the natural order of things ‘as they are’ especially because I’m quite happy with my life.
The whole bundle of what has happened before brought me here. I wouldn’t be the “today’s me” if I hadn’t had boatloads of trials, mistakes, and troubles, that (I hope) I learned from. I also suspect that having had a crystal ball helping me to avoid all those ‘happenings’ would have opened me up to worse pain. I have noticed that many kids who have been protected from early consequences of their bad actions, and decisions, frequently pay far bigger prices later on.
I think life works just about the same way.

IMHO…Woulda, shoulda, coulda isn’t a healthy place to dwell, either.

Weekend Writing Prompt- Truth Excuse

He was going to have to cancel his appointment for the second time in two weeks. Hal had had to cancel last week’s lab-testing because of an unexpected problem with his vehicle. Luckily, he had found out before the “24-hour-Cancelation” excusable deadline and wouldn’t be charged out-of-pocket for rescheduling. But this time, throughout the appointment ‘morning of,’ he’d gotten too ill to go.
He wondered how many times people had used that ‘excuse’ when it wasn’t actually true.
“Probably a lot.” Hal thought. “Darn those liars and shame on those unfair medical insurance deadlines too. Life doesn’t follow a script!”


Question Time Over Coffee – 12-10-22- Me again.

What motivates you to get up every day?
The topics are different every day but after pondering this awhile there are the same motivations.
A. Being useful and helpful to loved ones.
B. Finding at least one creative endeavor.
C. Contemplating philosophical questions along the way.

What words have always struck you as funny or odd when looked upon?

The word “rhythm”. I can never remember how to spell it. [I even did it while I wrote this.] It’s a mental block and love/hate relationship I’ve come to accept.

How often do you read the comments left by other bloggers on other bloggers’ published posts?

I find them interesting now and then. Especially those posts that I find difficult to agree with or understand. I want to hear where others have gone with their interpretations. This is from questioning my own ‘knee jerk’ reaction and from trying to figure out if I’m being too biased or judgmental.

How hard do you work to keep your long-standing friendships alive year in and year out and do your friends work the same way to keep you?

I personally don’t think keeping friends should feel like “work”. I treasure close friendships, but they can change over the years. Why wouldn’t they? We change (if only in our situations). I’m fond of old friends and treasure our memories of deep connection but maintaining them shouldn’t feel like a struggle and moving on is okay IMHO.

How many emails do you delete every week?

Too few. I don’t visit my email regularly. It needs a good cleaning.

Are you easily distracted, and what do you find distracts you the most?

I’m finely tuned to my sense of hearing and have been known to interrupt an outdoor conversation because I recognize a familiar bird call or natural sound. Yes… it’s a “Look squirrel!” moment. LOL

Have you ever had a strange unexplained encounter that left you shaken and baffled and if so, what do you think it was? Or what did your brain make you think it was?

I’m inclined to think this question is wondering about the paranormal. When my husband and I moved into our house we started experiencing occasional bangs on our living room floor that was just above the ceiling of our basement. It went on for months. During the winter, we attributed it to an old furnace. But during the summer, it became unnerving. I had taken a philosophy class in college which had a hardcore ghost hunter professor. He’d told fascinating stories and had offered help to locals who “were haunted”.
My mind is still open (believing some stories) on that topic. I applied one of the solutions that the professor had recommended years before. I opened the cellar door and pronounced out loud, “This is our house now. You are welcomed to stay but I’m appealing to you to leave us alone.”
We had NO more banging thereafter. You decide, {Did I mention that our backyard shares a property line with an old cemetery?}

Are we more scared of things that go bump in the night when in the dark or equally as concerned if the same thing happens during daylight hours? If so, why do you think that is?

It seems no surprise that a fear of being startled is involved. Our ‘animal’ instincts know we are most vulnerable to ambush when our vision is impaired. Darkness is a natural cover for ambush.

What do you think are the magical ingredients for writing a bestseller and do you think you could write one?

A bestseller and a wonderful book are not always one in the same. For a ‘bestseller’ it either has to be excellently crafted, incorporate current trends and/or concerns, or both.

When was the last time you stayed awake all night having fun with another person, and what were you doing?

I haven’t done all-nighters in thirty years. When I did, laughing, drinking alcohol, and a campfire were involved.
My favorite “nighters” now are when my 10-year-old granddaughter and I have a sleepover and we make up stories after the lights are out or, if need be, under the covers.

Would the 18-year-old you recognize the older you if you both collided on the street today? If not, why?

Certainly, my principles haven’t changed, and my interests are still pretty much the same. “What you see is what you get.” has been my lifelong attitude. We’d probably start off with a “high five”!

What are you most looking forward to in 2023?

Vindication for all the people so easily dismissed as “conspiracy theorists” just for asking questions.

Are you more curious or are you more passionate, or are you both?

Definitely curious to a fault.

Can you easily recognize your flaws, and do you think it is important?

Oh my. All I ever do is question my own motives and accuracy. Being honest with myself is IMHO the most valuable and necessary component to leading a ‘good’ life.

The musical album you loved the most in the last twenty years was… ?

I grew out of the habit of listening to the music stations on the radio once I had teenage children. There is a generational taste to music but, the 60s,70s,80s, were, and are, still regarded as the Best. Almost any “Best of” album from those decades would be welcomed.
Some of my favorite albums through the years were Carole King’s Tapestry, Deep Purple’s Machine Head, Glen Campbell’s Greatest Hits, Joy to the World-Three Dog Night -Their Greatest Hits, Michael Jackson’s Thriller and all of America’s albums. You figure it out. My tastes span many genres.

Don’t Underestimate Children

There’s a thread in many modern-day discussions that honestly perplexes me. I often hear that the color of someone’s skin or gender must be represented equally in all media in order for children to have role models, otherwise, they have no idea who to emulate.

Is that true?

I don’t want to assume anyone else’s viewpoint, but that idea never has occurred to me.

I grew up during a time when women were undervalued as role models especially in the cinematic arena, yet I never once examined a role model on such superficial grounds. Understandably, most of my “heroes” were men during a time when women were oft portrayed as running through the jungle in high heels and pearl necklaces. LOL But my heroes weren’t ever examined (by me) as anything other than courageous, principled, and unselfish. All those things were based on character and none of them ever seemed to be out of my reach. Those were qualities that I deemed heroic no matter who had them.

Nowadays, adults are suggesting black little girls are incapable of having heroes who weren’t ever “black little girls” or little boys can’t look up to Margaret Thatcher or Harriet Tubman! Give me a break. Are these people aware of how many children have been inspired by a parent of the opposite sex?
A ‘good’ and ‘heroic’ character has no specific color or gender. Kids can understand the difference. (I’m speaking as a kid who did that.)

What’s particularly disturbing about this new “progressive” trend is the early message it sends. That emphasis on race and gender are overshadowing the ease with which all people can perceive ‘good character’. I haven’t decided whether the foundation of that viewpoint is malicious or just utterly ignorant.

Let me tell you how easily we can- without intending to-send destructive messages.

In my early years, dentistry check-ups were becoming more humane and available by leaps and bounds. People, my parent’s age, had grown up during a more barbaric period and legitimately feared going to the dentist. Although kids my age were not in danger of much discomfort (Now there’s almost no discomfort.), it was a common practice for parents to encourage their children while enroute to the dentist to “be brave”. The level of fear and avoidance of preventative dental care continued way beyond what was expected simply because of that loving reminder. Proper dental care was set back for at least a decade!

Another angle on “kids aren’t stupid” is found in the TV my generation watched. The Honeymooners would make feminists and “Me Too” activists faint if it were a new show. Ralph Kramden was a blowhard and male chauvinist to the core. Those who believe kids mimic all behaviors they witness (and only behaviors of those they ‘look like’) might also think every boy would have automatically copied Ralph’s attitude. But kids aren’t mindless and the only adults who kids actually mimic are predominantly their parents. Ralph came off as a silly man who was lucky to have Alice (who never appeared to be even slightly frightened). I didn’t know any kid who thought he was an admirable character. He was actually a laughable example of how foolish those attitudes were in plain sight! Kids knew better then and would know better now.

So, kids can easily discern fools from heroes and phonies from those with real character. They’re occasionally better at it than many adults. Children operate on almost all instinctive levels while adults concern themselves with etiquette and status often ignoring their instincts thus second guessing their perceptions.

Protecting kids from “life” creates ill-equipped and easily led adults. If you don’t believe it look around. Aggrieved and overwhelmed youth are everywhere. IMHO… that could have been avoided if we hadn’t started underestimating them.

Ronovan Writes Sijo Wednesday #35- A Brave and Visible Life

Coping. Is coping a positive thing or a treading water thing? I only just now wondered that. I suppose it depends on what’s being coped.

You should use the word in the title of this post as your inspiration as either a theme of the Sijo or in the poem itself.

There are:

  • Three Lines
  • 14-16 syllables per line
  • A total of 44-46 syllables for the entire poem.

How brave the stalwart oak tree is to cope with elements.
A visible life grounded in indomitable purpose
Distinguished from the mouse that hides, avoids, and cowers unnoticed.

Ronovan Writes Sijo Wednesday #34- Enjoy the Dance

Prompt: Dance

You should use the word in the title of this post as your inspiration as either a theme of the Sijo or in the poem itself.

There are:

  • Three Lines
  • 14-16 syllables per line
  • A total of 44-46 syllables for the entire poem.

Life is so disorderly it’s quite hard to manage well.
The problem is the idea that we are in a battle.
We’re merely dancers; hoping to lead but fated to follow.