Unanswered Question: Am I the only one listening?


Busy, busy, busy! We’re all pretty busy these days.
I mainly like being busy. Busy people feel purposeful.
But ‘tuning out’ isn’t a necessary by-product.

I’ve heard that people learn differently. I believe that. Some need to get their hands dirty, others need to study words, and others need a picture presentation in order to absorb information. I’m a listener. The layers of meaning in spoken language is a fascination to me. What people “say” can IMHO give us a large volume of information. We mustn’t overlook the additional benefit of comprehending “How they say things”, “What may have inspired what they say.”, and “Who they are talking to.”

For the listeners, there’s always a certain amount of conjecture as is with the observers who tend to judge people on their appearances. Both methods can fail miserably on getting a ‘correct’ or whole ‘story’. But a good listener hears ‘something’ and ‘leans in’ hoping to sift out some ‘truth’. A great comment listeners use is, “Tell me more.”

There’s been a large amount of upheaval in our language. Our youngest generations are using their own ‘slang’ as young people have always done but there’s an alarming level of also redefining ordinary speech. Yet, if you listen closely, there are still enough clues available for exchanging ideas. Whenever I feel as though someone and I are not ‘on the same page’, I’ll ask, “What are you using as a definition of “poor”? or “Can you tell me how you define “oppressed”?

By now you’re likely asking, “What’s your point?” LOL
Here goes:
I was driving around doing errands yesterday while listening to the radio. The local news report was on and this is what I heard:
“A college athlete will not be charged with assault and battery for shoving and slapping a fellow teammate last month. Instead, he’ll be mandated to attend a “Corrective Thinking” class within a year.”

(Of course, I don’t know why the “slap” occurred or whether that athlete may have elected for that ‘alternative’ punishment.)
BUT the information I heard DID alert me to the existence of something called a “Corrective Thinking Class”. What in the name of George Orwell is going on?!
When was the imposition of a fine or suspension as a punishment replaced with ‘thought control’? Am I the only one listening?
We’re in deep “doo doo” people.
And I’m reporting this, as an alarmed listener, because so many people who are ‘busy’ may not be aware of where we are headed.


Unanswered Questions: Do we exist to learn or to teach?

There’s an interesting prompt in another thread. It pertains to the use of ‘sarcasm’.
I like that prompt but the person offering it proposed that sarcasm was akin to negativity.

My first thought was “Really? How could something so much fun and humorous be a bastion of negativity?”
It was then I realized that the bias of that presentation was just a personal sensibility.
No harm, no foul, of course. We’re allowed personal viewpoints. The creepy part is that some people frame their views as absolute, inarguable, truths.
Do they believe that or are they just being a bit inartful?
It’s hard to tell. I’m not a ‘mind reader’.

That whole thought process made me continue to examine the propensity of human beings to define the ‘world’ according to their personal sensibilities. I think the leadership of the U.S. have on many unfortunate occasions decided to impose American values on other cultures. I believe many times (not all) it came from an altruistic arrogance on the premise that we had found the ‘correct’ course and assumed the role as a ‘teacher’ to all humanity. Well, if countries do that, I’m sure individuals are capable of that approach too.
Reagan’s “Shining City on the Hill” speech may have been the best way to ‘teach’… by example. “Because I say so.” is a poorer way to influence others than “Look at how well I’ve done.” As we learn, any lessons we have to offer are clear from our successes or failures.
[Our current predicaments are attributable IMHO to an outrageous disregard for our Constitution which had made our prosperous progress possible. When will we (our leadership) learn?]

Expanding the stream of consciousness brought me to the broadest question, “Do we exist to learn or to teach?”

As a self-described ‘student of life’, my tendency is to want to learn. You’ve already noticed that I enjoy asking questions.
But there is a ‘teacher’ in each of us too. Especially those who are parents and mentors of children.

I had to laugh during a recent vacation day spent with my granddaughter and a day care friend. We humorously caught on to a theme that developed quickly as we visited. There was a lesson in every topic I proposed! We got to the point when I said something we’d chime, “Here comes the lesson!” LOL

Yes, I wanted to ‘teach’ the kids. But the manner I chose wasn’t at all in the form of a lecture. It could be better described as a series of “Let’s think about that together.” moments. I told stories about difficult situations I had been confronted with in my life then invited them to examine “Why?” I made my decisions and “If?” they would have decided the same. I didn’t impose my values; I showed the kids how I had applied them. A few times, I asked their opinions on whether I may have been wrong. I truly wanted their opinion!

So, I did assume a ‘teaching’ role, but my lessons were to be found in an uncertain ‘testing’ of my values. I had remained primarily a ‘student’. IMHO… if more of us asked questions and perceived ourselves as fellow ‘students’, there would be far fewer righteous judgements (conclusions) made and more questions asked.
By reading the comments on the ‘biased’ prompt that I opened with, it appears to me that some ‘adults’ think their roles in this life are primarily as ‘teachers’ of how others should behave. It’s curiously always implied that ‘decency‘ depends on their ‘rules’ too. [I’m starting to imagine that the ubiquitous concerns over “bullying” have given them this authority in their own minds. To that I would ask which mimics ‘bullying’ more? Telling others “How they should behave.” or asking “Why they behave the way they do?”]

It just occurred to me that my interest in writing stories and poems comes directly from my desire to offer my viewpoint for others to consider and learn from for better or worse. They are still free to decide. Freedom is awesome!


Earthly Comforts Questions 2-5-23 The Art of Communicating

Rory has asked us 4 new questions. Let’s see where they take us.

Have you learned anything new about your personality that you didn’t know beforehand whilst on your blogging journey?

I’m quite familiar with my personality. I’ve had it all my life.
What I have learned from blogging is a better, more artful, way to communicate.

Some examples are:

Don’t use exclamation points unless you’re expressing excitement. Even then, keep the volume down. Exclamation points, when discussing emotionally charged topics make the reader feel as though you’re ‘hollering’ at them. At the very least, exclamation point use suggests you’re ‘losing your cool’.

When discussing any topic, it is wise to offer ‘What YOU think’ or ‘What YOU feel’ or ‘What YOU have noticed’ rather than suggest you have any idea why others have taken a ‘position’. We’re not mind readers, and no one (including myself) wants to be told what we’re thinking from someone who couldn’t possibly know.

Visiting my ‘inner child’ before I write makes for a more ‘unassuming’ write. Being genuine is a good place to start from in all things.

What are your last thoughts of the night before you turn your lights off, ready to sleep?

I offer a prayer of gratitude and ask for safety and comfort for my loved ones.

What is the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard anyone say, write, or blog about?

It probably wasn’t ‘what someone said’ that seemed ridiculous but, as I mentioned above, the reasons some people use for saying things can be entertaining. It usually comes down to that ‘mind reading’ technique. Those who suggest that certain people do things because ‘the writer’ knows what they think. News Flash: Try asking them. LOL
(Of course, in fiction and poetry, the writer DOES know what the subjects think because he created them.)

Sometimes the ridiculous comes down to those people who keep ‘drawing conclusions’ rather than examining a topic. For example: “People from the South are undereducated” or “All women like jewelry.” etc.

What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

“Not capable of” suggests a new skill rather than a new opportunity, to me. I am probably better at ‘listening to’ and ‘talking with’ others with whom I disagree. I truly want to keep them talking, as opposed to shutting them down or ‘educating them‘ (I loathe that last mentioned approach. 🙂 )
It’s not at all my job to correct anyone. My job is to curiously examine their words and thoughts in order to change or reinforce my own views. If I shut them down, I cannot learn and grow from the exchange.


https://earthlycomforts.uk/2023/02/05/a-wild-aloha-to-you-12/

Sunday Poser #115- Nope

I wouldn’t give my younger self advice.

First, I understand how many of you might think, “Here she goes again. Taking a simple question and turning it inside out.”

But this question troubles me. I fully understand the spirit of the question.
Would I warn myself about a harmful decision or a bad habit?

My answer is still “No.”

To modify your past would change your “now “and future. [FULL STOP]

We can’t be sure if the change would be ‘for the better’ or not, but things would definitely be changed. Every mistake you’ve made to get where you are today was impactful in getting you here. (Even what we think is “little” can’t be counted on to be ‘little’ in a long-term effect on your life journey. – Look up The Butterfly Effect for more information. – )

I also wouldn’t consider messing with the natural order of things ‘as they are’ especially because I’m quite happy with my life.
The whole bundle of what has happened before brought me here. I wouldn’t be the “today’s me” if I hadn’t had boatloads of trials, mistakes, and troubles, that (I hope) I learned from. I also suspect that having had a crystal ball helping me to avoid all those ‘happenings’ would have opened me up to worse pain. I have noticed that many kids who have been protected from early consequences of their bad actions, and decisions, frequently pay far bigger prices later on.
I think life works just about the same way.

IMHO…Woulda, shoulda, coulda isn’t a healthy place to dwell, either.




https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2023/01/15/sunday-poser-115/

SoCS- 1-7-23 Out of the Box

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “out of the box.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think “out of the box.” Enjoy!

This prompt brought back a delightful memory! My normal tendency to wax philosophically has been interrupted for this public service announcement to grandmas and childcare givers.

During my childcare years, I became a children’s programing connoisseur. Around the year 2000, I had a favorite program that the kids and I watched. It was called Out of the Box and was produced by Disney. I haven’t thought of it in years!
It had storytelling, music, and art projects that were wonderful. One segment, in particular, came to mind because I couldn’t help but dance to it. Upon revisiting it… I still needed to dance! I posted it for y’all below.

The cast, content, and messages in this delightful show was excellent and I hope anyone who is lucky enough to be in the presence of young kids (and still has a happy, silly, heart) will look it up on YouTube. There are full episodes available. You won’t be disappointed.

I can’t imagine where children’s programming has gone lately. I’m confident its better days are behind us.
Happy Saturday friends! Let’s dance. ❤



A True Story and Real Life Dilemma

oppossum

The following is a true story. By the time this is posted, I will have added a photo. For now, the story is more important:

Early in our camping experience last summer, my granddaughter and I heard my Jack Russell Terrier barking and came upon a baby opossum peeking out from behind our generator bin. It was frightened and clearly a bit young to be wandering around on its own.
I called the dog off and she scampered out of sight. (I say “she” because Nature makes females a bit more sturdy and independent early on. I will never know her true gender but my guess is an educated one.)
She appeared once more that day around our log splitter. This uncharacteristic sighting made me snap a photo and assume “something” had happened to her mother. When I told my husband, he said he had seen a dead baby opossum in the nearby bushes, the day before. Seems my “guess” had more legitimacy after that.
It was Sunday, and we were hours from leaving for home. I had learned from other lessons of interfering with Nature, that my human instinct to “get involved” was not always wise for either the wild animal or for my heart. I felt I just HAD to give her a chance. She had survived, so far, and although I could not take responsibility for her, I didn’t have to all-together turn my back.
Just before I left, I took a large handful of dry dog food and piled it, undercover, near the generator bin. With a heavy heart, I went home.
The next week, the dog food and opossum were gone.
I thought of her often throughout the summer. I also accepted the “not knowing” of what happened to her a mixed blessing.
Around the middle of October, my dog came strutting back to my campsite with a prize catch. My heart sank! He had caught and killed a juvenile opossum. It was from under the place where I had, months before, left the dog food. Even this moment, my heart is racing and my stomach is turning at the telling of an “almost” triumphant tale.
I have little doubt that the opossum was the orphan I had met in June. She HAD survived but had not learned enough to continue to survive.
This winter’s harshness has made me consider her violent end a possible blessing against the option of freezing or starving. Without a mother, her instincts may not have well prepared her.
The moral of this story, that I hold on to, is that I HAD cared. That I HAD tried to help. I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) have done more and that I really need to let go of the heart-sickening guilt I keep revisiting.
There would be those who would say, “You didn’t care or do enough.”
I would beg to differ.
The sick feeling in my stomach while writing this is still there.
I also had asked myself a number of questions. Here’s a few:
Can I find her in time?
Is her mother temporarily trapped in a dumpster and might she return?
How could I safely capture and transport her in the same car as my dog?
Would I really be offering her a better life by interfering?
Would my husband’s opinions on my decision matter?
Is there a law against bringing wild animals into a day care setting?
Would the Animal Hospital accept her?
How terrified would she be in all this?
Yes…I DID care deeply but I knew that caring didn’t give me the “right” to affect absolute changes nor did it protect me from possibly doing more harm than good.
I’ve learned a lot from this experience. I hope in telling this story, “little opossum’s”, AND my dilemma, speaks to you.
Don’t forget…I also may be wrong in my conclusion that every sighting of an opossum was the SAME opossum. And that my friends, is where hope lives.

To Infinity and beyond… Child Care Fun

Ava
Ava

I couldn’t imagine a happier profession than mine.

As a child day care provider, I get to play with kids everyday. Ideas are my passion and kids have the BEST ideas!

Yesterday, two of my 4-year-old friends and I had a lovely discussion.
My first question was, “How might I get to the moon?”

Jasen: “You would need super shoes to jump up there.”

Me: “Where might I get those super shoes?”

Jasen: “At Super Walmart, of course.”

We discussed the moon further and decided that we would need a gravity suit and air tanks and a Super Parachute (available, also, at Super Walmart).

Me: “There’s too much to jump with. How might we get our supplies up there?”

Jasen: “We’ll need a truck!”

Me: “There’s no road to the moon. How about a rocket ship?”

Jasen:”Where do we buy a rocket ship?”

Me: “Scientists have them at NASA.”

With that problem solved, I moved on.

Me:”How do farmers plant seeds in their fields?”

Ava and Jasen: “They dig a hole with a shovel and drop in the seeds.”

Me: “That would take too long for a farmer to plant 500 seeds. How do farmers plant so many seeds in good time?”

Ava: “They ask 500 friends to come over and dig a hole.”

Me: :”That’s a great way to save time! Good idea. But, the farmer would need 500 shovels, wouldn’t he? I don’t think he can get that many at Super Walmart. It would cost a lot and the inventory(I explained what inventory meant.) isn’t that large!”

So, I introduced and  talked about tractors and planters and plows.

Me:” Now, how will the farmer water her seeds?” … Notice the gender change 😉

Jasen:” She can get a hose.”

“Me: “I don’t think that there are hoses long enough for big fields.”

Ava: “I know! It will rain sometimes.”

Me:” Super Ava! That is what the farmers hope for. On a rainy day, remember that the farmers are happy.”

Jasen: “What if there are puddles?”

Me: “You are right, Jasen! Sometimes, there is too much rain and the farmers hope for the sun to come out to dry up those fields. Last Spring, my uncle and cousin, couldn’t drive their tractors on the muddy ground. They were very worried. Boy, farmers really need to count on the weather, don’t they?”

Our conversation progressed through the steps that produce takes to reach their dinner table. During the discussion, we realized the need for refrigerator trucks too.
We had one great afternoon!

What fun it is to be an early childhood educator! I get to witness that wide-eyed wonder every single day along with many opportunities for chuckles. 😉

Today? Well, we’ll see what comes up. It’s going to be fun!