Six Sentence Story- Grandpa Knows Better


“If you see two birds in the bush, shoot ’em.”

“That’s not the way the saying goes, Grandpa.”

“It’s always worked that way for me just right, Grandson, and I don’t care about your ‘proper’ educated words because dopes spring up eternally.”

“That’s “Hope springs eternal.”, Grandpa…You sound dumb.”

“Last I knew Mr. Dope, you’re the one $50,000.00 in debt for a college education that got you a job at a factory and you’re 24-years-old still living at home, so ‘actions speak louder than words’.”

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day, Grandpa…Touche’.”

Luck for Dummies

A gray squirrel almost got hit by a car this morning. I was looking out of my kitchen window and observed the whole incident. The key word in that statement is almost. As I watched the wild rodent, I saw him make up his mind to cross. Tail high and head down, “Peanut” charged. The oncoming vehicle was not in my line of sight. This smart fellow resisted the normal urge that squirrels have to squat and hide when danger approaches. THAT instinct is the one that usually causes squirrel traffic deaths. Sorry, I have no statistics but we all know that the number is large. This resisted moment and the final surge to the safety of the opposite sidewalk (just in time ), made all the difference. It made me consider that there may be some squirrels who become “street wise”. If this is possible, they are not communicating the knowledge very well among their brethren.

Since squirrel generations happen in months, rather than years, I might assume that “street wise” squirrels would have the surviving bloodlines and soon we would have them using crosswalks. This is not the case due to the “luck” factor. Examples of these variables are :

  • The drivers who watch for and brake for animals.
  • The time of day that “Peanut” chooses to cross.
  • The spinning of the Earth on its axis at just the right speed to afford “Peanut” an error in judgement.

So therefore, my friends, dumb squirrels continue to procreate and muddy the squirrel gene pool.

The “luck” factor is not prejudice, definable or evenly shared in this world. But, I maintain that it exists! Many believe it is the hand of God intervening . I’ve seen many things, bad and good, happen to the undeserving so I don’t believe that myself.  Most folklore and superstition have roots in the tales of the lucky/unlucky. People from all cultures believe luck can be enticed to their side by talismans. So I am starting a new charity today.

“Rabbits’ Feet for  Dumb Squirrels”

The motto will be,” Let’s give ’em a fighting chance!”

If you know any dumb squirrels and would like to donate please leave me a note. Thank-you and remember:” Just because you are dumb does not mean you cannot be lucky!”