Posted in In my humble opinion..., Unanswered Questions

Unanswered Question: Is the current definition of “kindness” actually “kind”?


When I’m online in social media sites, I’m constantly reminded to just be “kind”.

It’s occurred to me that many people currently have an oversimplified idea of “What is kind?”.

I could be mistaken but there seems to me an idea that not “making waves” is the epitome of “kindness”.
[Other than being the epitome of Marxism, I don’t think so. Marxists don’t like people who ‘think’.]

I consider myself overtly kind. I’m thoughtful, helpful, generous, and reassuring, as often as I am able.
So, I’m wondering why someone might declare my objections to policies and positions as “unkind”. They could argue that they’re flawed but calling someone ‘unkind’ requires a big leap.

I’ve heard that affirming children in their quizzical conclusions on ‘adult’ topics is the ‘kind’ thing to do. Really? Do kids have the knowledge and life experience necessary to make ‘informed’ decisions? Are they born with the ability to navigate the world? If so, why would parents even be necessary? Also, why have parents been held ‘legally’ responsible for what their kids do if kids are independent beings?

IMHO… not offering your kids your values and opinions (aka free-range parenting) is as ‘cruel’ as not offering a ‘blind’ person a ‘helping hand’ to cross the street safely. (Curiously, people who suggest raising kids as ‘free range’ is ‘kind’ often consider anyone not making their cat an ‘indoor animal’ ‘unkind’ because of ‘at large’ dangers.)
Keep in mind, the ‘blind’ person still has the ‘free will’ not to accept the ‘helping hand’. Your kids may not accept your guidance either but it’s likely they may if you are a fair and thoughtful parent. It’s cool how fair and thoughtful parents tend to raise their kids to be fair and thoughtful adults, isn’t it? Can we attribute that only to ‘kinder’ genetics or possibly something else? 😉

Another thing suggested as “unkind” is objecting to people “who want to better themselves” flooding our country ‘illegally’. Really?
First, if we allow that, we are encouraging people- who may have been ‘law abiding’ and generous all of their lives -to break the law and take something that doesn’t belong to them. The ‘unkindness’ of ‘breaking into a country’ also is an affront and ‘cutting of the line’ of other good people who chose not to break the law to become American citizens. Now that we know horrific things are happening to people uprooted by ‘false hope’ of being absolved of their ‘unkind’ methods, might ‘putting our foot down’ (as parents do) save them from themselves?

The ultimate unkind act comes from people who know ‘unkind things’ are happening and think it’s ‘kinder’ not to ‘speak up’.
No, the act of not trying to stop bad things from happening is NEVER kind. It is absolutely unkind, and IMHO is either cowardly or in some way self-serving.

Take heart! People calling others “unkind” are happily not the ultimate arbiters of ‘kindness’ neither are social media memes. Every individual heart determines what is kind. The people telling others to be generically ‘kind’ might want to examine if their own actions fit a “kindness definition” because I don’t think the current ubiquitous definition of “What kindness is?” is universally ‘kind’, at all.


Posted in In my humble opinion...

Sunday Poser #27- Shame, Shame, on Lazy Parents

Sadje has asked another excellent question.

This week my question is;

Do you think how we turn out is in our control?

My answer is a resounding “yes” and “no”.

We are individually predisposed to our own variety of reactions to Life’s litany of experiences.
The quiet introspective child will respond differently from the impulsive risk-taking child to the same (or similar) situations.
Neither is better equipped than the other, but their ‘journeys’ will obviously take different ‘paths’.
So, in that sense, we are each ‘slaves’ to our inborn tendencies.

Yet, in each situation we also have the capacity to make choices. Sometimes they are choices that are the ‘lesser of two evils’ and sometimes they are choices according to values and goals.
What makes life even more of a gambit is that none of us get to become adults without passing through the “tempest time” of being a teenager.
Gosh! It’s hard to watch. So much of their future successes depend on making ‘wise’ decisions during a time when their own wisdom is in low supply.
We can appeal to them but no longer have much influence on them. This is why we call the preteens, the “formative years”. Their values and decision-making skills are already formed by our involved parenting.

{A short opinion rant is coming. Viewers are advised to use discretion. LOL }

Tell me again about the modern concept of “free range parenting”?!
Offering little guidance or instruction to young children isn’t just “lazy”, it’s cruel and amounts to criminal neglect offering no compassion for their futures. It also makes our entire society and culture vulnerable to unscrupulous influences.
Shame on those who fail to guide their children! [Yes… I lost my cool. Sometimes there are topics that require it. 😉 ]



https://lifeafter50forwomen.com/2023/02/05/sunday-poser-27/