Tag: children

Morning Dawdler 3/19/23 Free range on the Farm

On By Susan St.PierreIn In my humble opinion..., Memories of the Farm6 Comments

Rory’s questions for today:

Are you a person who likes their life to be orderly with set routines and schedules or is that not an essential for you to worry about?

I’ve always disliked schedules, deadlines, and appointments. There’s too much to be ‘thought about’, ‘investigated’, ‘created’ and “played” every day for that. Probably half of the reason I never liked school was because I felt forced to be there. When I was spending summers at my grandparents’ dairy farm, the adults were busy with chores, while I was busy being a “free range” kid on my own. I was never bored. With the farm dog as my sidekick, I explored fields, ditches and barns. Some of my pastimes were braiding bailing twine into belts, teaching the farm dog tricks, exploring ditches for polliwogs, riding my pony while pretending to be Annie Oakley, and collecting interesting rocks.
Every situation since has felt a little ‘confining’.
When I discovered I could make a supplemental living by inviting kids into my home each day, it was my perfect niche. With kids (at least with my style) every day was a different adventure. Sometimes I’d plan activities, but they were always subject to change. If a backhoe showed up to dig a trench across the street, would you want to sit at the table pasting pictures or watch it? The gang and I always chose the backhoe of course.
As for tidiness, I’m not good at that either. Our helter-skelter day care ways left picking up for days’ end… sometimes the next day. 😉

Are you a natural people watcher and if so what do you enjoy about the experience?

Gosh, yes. People are almost as interesting as polliwogs. Everyone has a story, everyone has a natural born temperament, and everyone is a possible new friend. While growing up, I watched people and evaluated them as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ examples of who I wanted to be. As an adult, I want to know what others think when I can get them to ‘open up’. My everyday dress code is mostly a decorative t-shirt with a flannel overshirt. My t-shirts have words and/or symbols that represent a wide assortment of my favorite things. Those t-shirts frequently elicit a comment and connection when I’m in public. It’s just the opening I need to be comical and friendly. The grocery store never disappoints. It’s a place where I can collect new humous anecdotes or curiosities on human behavior.

Do you think your online persona is very different from the one at home or are you exactly the same as you display yourself to your readers?

I don’t see any difference. I’m genuine to a fault. Even when it means I may ask inappropriate questions or state brutal truths, it’s always me talking… sometimes apologizing. LOL


https://earthlycomforts.uk/2023/03/19/a-wild-aloha-to-you-28/

Ronovan Writes SIJO Wednesday- Contentment-One Splendid Pursuit

On By Susan St.PierreIn Words 'n' such PoetryLeave a comment

There are:

  • Three Lines
  • 14-16 syllables per line
  • A total of 44-46 syllables for the entire poem.


One Splendid Pursuit

A pursuer of splendid new things is the precocious child.
Energy builds strong bones and joyfulness expands the soul.
All a frisky blitz toward the reward of tranquil contentment.



https://ronovanwrites.com/2023/03/15/ronovan-writes-sijo-wednesday-poetry-challenge-53-use-contentment-as-your-inspiration-this-week/

Unanswered Question: Why not spend more time teaching kids how to cope?

On By Susan St.PierreIn In my humble opinion..., Unanswered Questions9 Comments

It appears to me that there’s a great amount energy spent trying to ‘cure’ the World of unpleasantness and ‘evil’. That’s quite a heavy task. It’s almost as absurd as humankind supposing they are empowered to “Save the Planet”, but I digress.
When I had a group of preschool kids in my home on a daily basis, the pleas for ‘justice’ and my intervention were sometimes incessant.
“Susan! He’s in MY spot!”
“Susan! She’s taking MY blocks!”
“Susan! He won’t stop looking at me! “…”Susan! Susan! Susan!”
My approach to those complaints was to offer them a self-initiated way to cope or compromise.

“Does that ‘spot’ have your name on it? Find another one.”
“If there aren’t enough blocks for you to work with, you can choose to come and draw for now, then I’ll give you time alone with all of them later.”
“You must be looking at him to know that. Stop looking at him.”

I pity the current kindergarten teachers. Kids, today, are routinely taught to lodge complaints rather than resolve their own problems. On top of that, mere irritations have now been given “problem” status. This is a sad situation for all involved. Many, many, people have opted to label themselves as victims, and few realize they have the ‘power’ (and responsibility) not to be one.

We can agree that many of us have been true victims of crimes, and wrongdoing, at no fault of our own. But by instructing kids to ask, “What might I do differently?” or “What may I have done to avoid that?”, I assure you the ‘victim’ statistics would be cut in half in no time. That would happily allow for more attention to ‘real’ victims too.

I’ve gotten a lot of push back and ridicule for asking people who are complaining about their problematic situation, “Could you have handled that better?” Those people ‘triggered’ by my question seem to think there’s a ‘side’ to be taken more than a ‘problem’ to solve. I suggest that the most prudent first step in solving all of our own problems is to ask questions of ourselves. Your problems don’t just belong to the world ‘at large’.

“But unkindness is BAD, and evil is destructive!” I totally agree. Yet I realistically understand the only power I have, when facing those things, is my own reaction and approach. Throughout life I’ve learned I’m a participant in ‘goings on’ not an irritated, aggrieved, observer. News Flash: Those “evil and unkind” dynamics of life aren’t going anywhere.

So why don’t we spend more time teaching kids how to cope? Complaining is an overall waste of time compared to taking a personal initiative.

To adults who were raised as individuals, the online ‘bullying plague’ could be solved by suggesting teens turn selected apps off, opt to “block” offensive content, or ‘unplug’ all together. Those options are readily available. The kids who feel that they ‘can’t possibly’ do that, have already IMHO shown they place a stunning level of importance on “What others think.” and those kids could have used more early intervention and instruction in “How to handle yourself safely and confidently in life.”

My final note is about the Big Picture of “individualism” versus “victimhood”. Free countries can only exist with one of those mindsets. I have no doubt that Marxism is currently winning the battle between those two.


The Sunday Dawdler 3-5-23 The Likeness of Souls

On By Susan St.PierreIn In my humble opinion...6 Comments

Rory asks more interesting questions of us today. I’m in …

Before I start, I want to express my delight in Rory’s use of snail images. This comes from an impactful book I read called, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey. It remains a personal favorite for its beautiful investigation of an unseen and rarely explored part of our natural world. All you fellow “nature nuts” might enjoy it as much as I.

How long will you be remembered for once you are no more?

During an introspective investigation I had many years ago, I came to the conclusion that those who involve themselves with children have a subliminal interest in being remembered. I am delighted when I reconnect with adults who I knew as kids, and they share a memory of our time together. If they end up passing on ‘lessons learned’ from me to their own children, my impact ‘lives’ on…
Recently, at a ‘wake’ for a deceased former neighbor, I stood in line waiting for my turn to offer my condolences to her grown children. Each person ahead of me in turn embraced the family and tears flowed freely. When it was my turn, the eldest daughter smiled, and we hugged. She’d only been sobbing all the while I had waited. Her comment, accompanied by twinkling eyes, was that she and her siblings had just been reminiscing about making Christmas Cookie Houses with me. I added my own memories of Halloweens we had shared from our side-by-side front porches. The grins and giggles continued as I addressed her brother and younger sister down the line. My heart has yet to recover from that scene. Their smiling faces during that terribly sad gathering would have pleased their mother who was the reason for all of us being there.
I can’t imagine a better way to impact people while being remembered. ❤

Considering that only 5% of the world’s oceans have been explored and charted, what do you think lurks in our world’s hidden and unknown waters?

I really can’t imagine what we may find. From recent reports, there’s increasing evidence of “life” (even in bacterial form) being discovered in what scientists ‘assumed’ to be totally inhospitable conditions in our oceans. To quote Jurassic Park, “Life finds a way.”
That alone is a mind-blowing yet comforting truth.

Are soul mates a real thing?

I’ve never come fully to terms with what that phrase means. Does the “mates” part mean compatible ‘marriage’ partners?
I think, on the “soul” part of humans, IMHO …we are the most intrinsically compatible already. [I use the term “souls” a lot in posts for the ‘oneness’ it conveys.]
But as the term “soul mate” is commonly used to describe a higher level of ‘alikeness’ that we can find in a person, I’d say “yes”.
We can find people with strikingly similar appearances, and we can find people with similar temperaments, experiences, and viewpoints. I believe that mathematically there are simply a finite number of combinations of those physical, emotional, and external things, so near ‘matches’ happen. We who consider likeness-on any plane- a connection, have more ‘soul mates’ than others. 😉

https://earthlycomforts.uk/2023/03/05/a-wild-aloha-to-you-24/

Unanswered Question: Is the current definition of “kindness” actually “kind”?

On By Susan St.PierreIn In my humble opinion..., Unanswered Questions9 Comments


When I’m online in social media sites, I’m constantly reminded to just be “kind”.

It’s occurred to me that many people currently have an oversimplified idea of “What is kind?”.

I could be mistaken but there seems to me an idea that not “making waves” is the epitome of “kindness”.
[Other than being the epitome of Marxism, I don’t think so. Marxists don’t like people who ‘think’.]

I consider myself overtly kind. I’m thoughtful, helpful, generous, and reassuring, as often as I am able.
So, I’m wondering why someone might declare my objections to policies and positions as “unkind”. They could argue that they’re flawed but calling someone ‘unkind’ requires a big leap.

I’ve heard that affirming children in their quizzical conclusions on ‘adult’ topics is the ‘kind’ thing to do. Really? Do kids have the knowledge and life experience necessary to make ‘informed’ decisions? Are they born with the ability to navigate the world? If so, why would parents even be necessary? Also, why have parents been held ‘legally’ responsible for what their kids do if kids are independent beings?

IMHO… not offering your kids your values and opinions (aka free-range parenting) is as ‘cruel’ as not offering a ‘blind’ person a ‘helping hand’ to cross the street safely. (Curiously, people who suggest raising kids as ‘free range’ is ‘kind’ often consider anyone not making their cat an ‘indoor animal’ ‘unkind’ because of ‘at large’ dangers.)
Keep in mind, the ‘blind’ person still has the ‘free will’ not to accept the ‘helping hand’. Your kids may not accept your guidance either but it’s likely they may if you are a fair and thoughtful parent. It’s cool how fair and thoughtful parents tend to raise their kids to be fair and thoughtful adults, isn’t it? Can we attribute that only to ‘kinder’ genetics or possibly something else? 😉

Another thing suggested as “unkind” is objecting to people “who want to better themselves” flooding our country ‘illegally’. Really?
First, if we allow that, we are encouraging people- who may have been ‘law abiding’ and generous all of their lives -to break the law and take something that doesn’t belong to them. The ‘unkindness’ of ‘breaking into a country’ also is an affront and ‘cutting of the line’ of other good people who chose not to break the law to become American citizens. Now that we know horrific things are happening to people uprooted by ‘false hope’ of being absolved of their ‘unkind’ methods, might ‘putting our foot down’ (as parents do) save them from themselves?

The ultimate unkind act comes from people who know ‘unkind things’ are happening and think it’s ‘kinder’ not to ‘speak up’.
No, the act of not trying to stop bad things from happening is NEVER kind. It is absolutely unkind, and IMHO is either cowardly or in some way self-serving.

Take heart! People calling others “unkind” are happily not the ultimate arbiters of ‘kindness’ neither are social media memes. Every individual heart determines what is kind. The people telling others to be generically ‘kind’ might want to examine if their own actions fit a “kindness definition” because I don’t think the current ubiquitous definition of “What kindness is?” is universally ‘kind’, at all.


Unanswered Questions: Do we exist to learn or to teach?

On By Susan St.PierreIn In my humble opinion..., Unanswered Questions8 Comments

There’s an interesting prompt in another thread. It pertains to the use of ‘sarcasm’.
I like that prompt but the person offering it proposed that sarcasm was akin to negativity.

My first thought was “Really? How could something so much fun and humorous be a bastion of negativity?”
It was then I realized that the bias of that presentation was just a personal sensibility.
No harm, no foul, of course. We’re allowed personal viewpoints. The creepy part is that some people frame their views as absolute, inarguable, truths.
Do they believe that or are they just being a bit inartful?
It’s hard to tell. I’m not a ‘mind reader’.

That whole thought process made me continue to examine the propensity of human beings to define the ‘world’ according to their personal sensibilities. I think the leadership of the U.S. have on many unfortunate occasions decided to impose American values on other cultures. I believe many times (not all) it came from an altruistic arrogance on the premise that we had found the ‘correct’ course and assumed the role as a ‘teacher’ to all humanity. Well, if countries do that, I’m sure individuals are capable of that approach too.
Reagan’s “Shining City on the Hill” speech may have been the best way to ‘teach’… by example. “Because I say so.” is a poorer way to influence others than “Look at how well I’ve done.” As we learn, any lessons we have to offer are clear from our successes or failures.
[Our current predicaments are attributable IMHO to an outrageous disregard for our Constitution which had made our prosperous progress possible. When will we (our leadership) learn?]

Expanding the stream of consciousness brought me to the broadest question, “Do we exist to learn or to teach?”

As a self-described ‘student of life’, my tendency is to want to learn. You’ve already noticed that I enjoy asking questions.
But there is a ‘teacher’ in each of us too. Especially those who are parents and mentors of children.

I had to laugh during a recent vacation day spent with my granddaughter and a day care friend. We humorously caught on to a theme that developed quickly as we visited. There was a lesson in every topic I proposed! We got to the point when I said something we’d chime, “Here comes the lesson!” LOL

Yes, I wanted to ‘teach’ the kids. But the manner I chose wasn’t at all in the form of a lecture. It could be better described as a series of “Let’s think about that together.” moments. I told stories about difficult situations I had been confronted with in my life then invited them to examine “Why?” I made my decisions and “If?” they would have decided the same. I didn’t impose my values; I showed the kids how I had applied them. A few times, I asked their opinions on whether I may have been wrong. I truly wanted their opinion!

So, I did assume a ‘teaching’ role, but my lessons were to be found in an uncertain ‘testing’ of my values. I had remained primarily a ‘student’. IMHO… if more of us asked questions and perceived ourselves as fellow ‘students’, there would be far fewer righteous judgements (conclusions) made and more questions asked.
By reading the comments on the ‘biased’ prompt that I opened with, it appears to me that some ‘adults’ think their roles in this life are primarily as ‘teachers’ of how others should behave. It’s curiously always implied that ‘decency‘ depends on their ‘rules’ too. [I’m starting to imagine that the ubiquitous concerns over “bullying” have given them this authority in their own minds. To that I would ask which mimics ‘bullying’ more? Telling others “How they should behave.” or asking “Why they behave the way they do?”]

It just occurred to me that my interest in writing stories and poems comes directly from my desire to offer my viewpoint for others to consider and learn from for better or worse. They are still free to decide. Freedom is awesome!