So here I am, dangling from the rope bridge by my wrist, and it is going to take a miracle to get out of this one!

“May I digress?
Let me introduce myself. I’m Stewart and people tell me that I make up exaggerated stories in order to get attention. Au contraire! I am most certainly a real-life human magnet to trouble so in order to break that misnomer and clear my name, I may have to die today.”

My day had had a better than average start so, silly me, I shed my usual ‘stay close to home’ cautiousness and charged off toward the darkened woods pursuing the origin of last night’s blood curdling howls. Howling is actually a common nighttime sound around here, but blood curdling ones are thankfully extremely rare.
Now, here I am, dangling by a thread over a three-hundred-foot chasm having been tricked by a werewolf who knew the bridge would give out before I reached its lair. A werewolf so despicable that ruining the last grains of my respectability is its true evil intention!
If that weren’t enough, this werewolf bears a strange resemblance to my mother-in-law who abruptly cancelled her visit two days ago. Really? Pearl earrings on a werewolf? This explains a lot!
My alien abduction happened precisely after she’d left our house last time and I’m nobody’s fool I’ll have you know. If she reaches over to grab me, I’ll let go. I’m not falling for anything like that anymore!