Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 7


Perilous Promises is my continuing story outline of two young children trying to make it from Honduras over the U.S. border. They’ve traveled for more than a month hoping to make it to their American citizen great Aunt Maria and safety. They made some friends and some enemies along their perilous journey. The first 6 installments are available below:

Yumi motioned to Ernesto to follow her outside once Abria was safely tucked into bed and offered him an ancient cellphone, a small amount of money, and what sounded like an order for him to proceed to the border without his little sister who didn’t have the strength to make it.

Ernesto knew she was right about Abria but, having every ounce of trust beaten out of him by now, decided to spark a conversation about Yumi’s relationship to Maria so he could be sure that his sister was in good hands.

Theirs was a similar journey 40 years before when Maria was forced to leave her best friend Yumi behind in this little village deathly ill and unable to continue to the sanctuary of the United States of America.

Satisfied of Yumi’s ability to care for Abria until he could send for her, Ernesto bid Yumi farewell with instructions conveyed to her by Aunt Maria for him to reach Mission Texas and set out to reconnect with Mig to complete the perilous trek.

George Navarro was just about to the end of his 20-hour border patrol shift in Mission Texas when he heard a terrified bloodcurdling squeal ahead of him and gave his horse a kick galloping toward the sound.

He spotted a real four-legged coyote yanking a lone small child by the hood of his jacket to the ground with four other pack members drawing a closing circle, so he lifted his rifle and neutralized one sending the rest scattering as George swiftly dismounted and swept the sobbing child into his arms.

20 thoughts on “Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 7

  1. That must have been hard for Ernesto to leave Abria behind. I like how you added a break in the story by showing George saving a child from real coyotes. I wonder who that child was with.

  2. Wow, Susan, I’m playing catch up on this saga and I’m hooked! So good!

    You bring the children’s plight to life, the betrayals and hazards, sent on a journey they should never have been on. Heartbreaking that this scenario is being played out every day.

    1. Thank so very much, Dora! {Sorry that you missed the second chapter. I didn’t realize I skipped allowing the link until after I posted the story. It’s live now though.}
      I would like to develop it in more descriptive detail into a timely youth novel. The Six Sentence format has proved to be a great way to outline the basics. I really appreciate your encouragement!

  3. These journeys are potential tragedies. The harrowing journeys – and will they find a safe haven at the end, or will there be further rejection? A topic that needs light shone on it as you are doing here. If you have time and if you’d like, here’s a link to a wee play I wrote in writing class about this very subject and which was then recorded during lockdown by an amateur dramatic company.

    1. Thank-you very much for sharing your links and interest in this double-edged tragic topic. I will give your work a thorough look in the morning. I want to give it my full attention. You’re very kind.

    1. I think most of them are caught up in a dangerous game of “perilous promises” and would be better off not going. I can’t imagine being owned by drug cartels is a better situation than staying put.
      Thanks for your continued interest! 😊

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