Six Sentence Story- Antique Moments



PROMPT WORD:  ISLAND

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Carol had been on the island for only two hours before strange things started to happen.

It had been a dare by her college friends for her to stay alone on the known-to-be haunted island for twenty-four hours in complete solitude, which was a thoroughly terrifying scenario to most modern teens.

There was a strong, warm, sea breeze and a peaceful dusky sky so she found an outcropping of rocks and perched, facing the ocean, with her own thoughts drifting casually through her mind, like clouds, as she began to feel weightless.

In her mind’s eye, she saw a little girl playing hopscotch -alone -, with pigtails bouncing in rhythm with her untied shoelaces, and upon reaching the end -she spun around-revealing an innocent cherubic face that Carol shockingly recognized as her own!

Instantly, a car pulled to the curb and out stepped her grandmother with outstretched arms offering her unforgettable ‘grandma snuggle’ so Carol raced, and gleefully leapt, but simultaneously, her Grandma turned to smoke leaving her to fall to the sidewalk scraping her knees.

Carol gasped, and snapped awake from stinging knees, at that seaside paradise where she now realized that the only ‘ghosts’ were antique moments- vying to be noticed in a chaotic, noisy, world- stashed away, far too long, inside of those who visited.

32 thoughts on “Six Sentence Story- Antique Moments

  1. Frank Hubeny 09/15/2021 / 6:23 pm

    I like your description of ghosts as “antique moments” trying to get our attention.

  2. Doug Jacquier 09/15/2021 / 7:05 pm

    Great concept and very well told, Susan. Like it a lot.

  3. Romi 09/15/2021 / 7:32 pm

    This is a beautiful story.

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/16/2021 / 8:03 am

      Thank-you so much! Memories tag along with us whether we acknowledge them or not. 😉

  4. GirlieOnTheEdge 09/15/2021 / 8:04 pm

    Easy to lose touch with cherished memories of people and times in our younger lives in the hustle and bustle of life. Perhaps the ease with which we slip into those “moments” is commensurate with how busy our days become.

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/16/2021 / 8:01 am

      I thought about this. Have you ever read The Giver? Without unpleasant memories, we have no context for the beautiful ones. 😉

  5. Chris Hall 09/16/2021 / 4:16 am

    Ghosts as ‘antique moments’ – that’s a lovely concept, Susan!

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/16/2021 / 7:57 am

      Thank you Chris! We don’t realize that we’re all ‘haunted’ and really ought not be afraid. “What was” is an undeniable part of “what is”, don’t you think? 😉

      • Chris Hall 09/16/2021 / 9:47 am

        That’s a ‘timey-wimey’ thing, isn’t it? Not something my little mind can understand. In any case, I’m not afraid of ghosts, I lived in a house which had a very pleasing one.

  6. ceayr 09/16/2021 / 7:28 am

    I always consider ghosts as shadows of the past, not so different from your alluring antique moments.

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/16/2021 / 8:18 am

      We are all ‘haunted’, for better or worse, if we’re lucky. Thanks!

  7. UP 09/16/2021 / 9:09 am

    antique moments, what a great phrase. good job on this.

  8. Dora 09/16/2021 / 12:31 pm

    Beautifully (hauntingly) written, Susan.

  9. The Atomic Mage 09/17/2021 / 8:26 am

    Superbly set up. I like how in the end she was haunted by the image of herself as a child and her early life.

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/17/2021 / 8:30 am

      Thank-you! Our memories and imaginations are sources of a great many ‘hauntings’. 😉

  10. clark 09/17/2021 / 8:37 am

    “little girl playing hopscotch -alone -, with pigtails bouncing in rhythm with her untied shoelaces,
    damn!* evocative imagery much?

    I’m with the others, that simple (but-why-didn’t-anyone-before-now-come-up-with-it) notion of ghosts as ‘antique moments’

    trés cool

    Excellent Six

    *high compliment, of course

  11. D. Avery @shiftnshake 09/17/2021 / 9:46 am

    That sounds like a productive time on the island. Not a bad way to be haunted at all.

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/17/2021 / 12:15 pm

      😊 The type of experience comes down to those who keep the good memories in a more treasured place than the unpleasant ones

  12. Nina 09/23/2021 / 10:42 am

    So beautiful~! And so true~! We all have our ‘antique moments’ and need some time alone in this mystic island to remember and appreciate them again in the midst of a chaotic world.♥

    • Susan St.Pierre 09/23/2021 / 11:14 am

      Absolutely! Thanks for commenting! A soltary quiet place for all of us would be nice.

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