d’Verse Prosery: Clouds

  You must use the lines in their entirety. You may change punctuation and capitalize words, but you are not allowed to insert words in between parts of the lines/ sentence.

“But these clouds are clearly foreign, such an exotic clutter

Against the blue cloth of the sky”

–from “Clouds” by Constance Urdang

See the source image

Whispering Dawn lifted her head above the blackberry spires she and her daughters had worked their way among. Her girls were busy shoveling as many berries into their bellies, as their buckets, so she chirped to get their attention.
Each of them froze and looked to their mother for further explanation of this seldom used warning.
Dawn pointed toward the East where dreamy white clouds chased along the ridge. The girls nodded then watched her draw an imaginary line along the horizon ending in the Westward sky.
“But these clouds are clearly foreign, such an exotic clutter against the blue cloth sky. What do they mean, girls?”
In unison they gasped, “Fire!”.
The girls rushed to escape the patch in a fluster when their mother chirped once more.
Again they froze.
“Panic kills more often than flames. Never, EVER, forget that. Now, follow me.”

(144 words)

28 thoughts on “d’Verse Prosery: Clouds

  1. Tricia Sankey 08/16/2021 / 9:02 pm

    I enjoyed the description in this. It’s a little too real not to feel some panic at the end. Good write!

  2. Lucy 08/16/2021 / 9:40 pm

    So haunting especially with the climate today, and very true about panic being a killer. Excellent writing!

  3. rothpoetry 08/16/2021 / 9:51 pm

    I love it. Such great metaphors for gaining wisdom… while the fire is an awful reality going on as we write! Well done Susan.

    • Susan St.Pierre 08/17/2021 / 8:02 am

      Many thanks! Reality creeps into every story, doesn’t it? 😉

      • rothpoetry 08/17/2021 / 9:56 am

        It does seem that way!

  4. msjadeli 08/16/2021 / 11:46 pm

    I’m glad she is there to lead them and teach them. They may survive.

    • Susan St.Pierre 08/17/2021 / 8:01 am

      A “mother bear” watching over, and teaching, her cubs, for sure. Thank-you!

      • msjadeli 08/17/2021 / 11:37 am

        You’re welcome, Susan.

  5. Shweta Suresh 08/17/2021 / 4:14 am

    It does so good to panic at all. Fires have been an unfortunate reality of late

  6. writerravenclaw 08/17/2021 / 4:33 am

    It made me think of all those man made fires in Greece and California. You are right to panic only ends up in trouble.

    • Susan St.Pierre 08/17/2021 / 7:59 am

      Thanks. That lesson is often a matter of life and death.

  7. merrildsmith 08/17/2021 / 9:13 am

    Excellent reminder, and all so true. You are right about the lesson being a matter of life and death.

  8. ben Alexander 08/18/2021 / 5:03 am

    You really used the prompt perfectly, Susan – it fits so naturally in this piece!

    In unison they gasped, “Fire!”.



  9. Marie A Bailey 08/18/2021 / 3:44 pm

    Well done, Susan! I really like how you responded to the prompt. Such a compelling story and the lines of the poem fit perfectly.

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