Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 4

Rules of the hop:
Write 6 Sentences. No more. No less.
Use the current week’s prompt word.
Link your post Wednesday night through Saturday late…
Spread the word and put in a good one to your fellow writers 😀

PROMPT WORD:  PAWN

Ernesto tucked his sister under an outcropping of roots still courageously clinging to the winding, severely eroded, creek bank, then washed her face and gave her the last of their bread and cheese, hoping it wouldn’t rain and they’d remain safely hidden, but if it did rain, the danger of drowning in a flashflood was absolutely real so he prayed that Nature would cooperate.

The creek was running swiftly from the April mountain melt so Mig was practically on top of them before Ernesto noticed him approaching their encampment but his easy gait signaled a non-threatening approach and when his face came into view, Mig was a sight for sore eyes; there stood the tall fellow he’d distracted the police from arresting a few days before.

Connecting with people along this perilous journey was not a frequent pleasure, and certainly wasn’t done the usual way, it was all about the ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’ and telling the difference from body language, and direct eye contact, became a sharpened instinct he’d never known existed but one that had served him well, so far.

Abria had just fallen asleep so Ernesto met the boy, five years his senior, halfway with an outstretched hand before Mig introduced himself formally and started warning Ernesto about the men who appeared to want him dead and of their intentions to search this area in the morning.

Within the hour, they had come up with a plan to follow the creek further down to an outlying town off the route most heavily traveled by the caravans, Abria was stirred, and the larger, stronger, Mig carried her, while Ernesto followed with their backpacks also deeply relieved of an unseen weight by this timely new friend and advisor.

During their discussion, Mig had noticed the children’s white wristbands with sunflower patterns and had told Ernesto that that meant his father had not paid for their passage, at all, but had sold them to a cartel which would expect them to pay up at the border or work off their debt in many unpleasant ways- Ernesto now realized he had just been a disposable pawn all along and as the first tears streamed down his face since this nightmare began, he asked his Mama, in heaven, to continue watching out for them as he silently sobbed.

For other authors’ work on this prompt, click the prompt immediately below.
InLinkz – Linkups & Link Parties for Bloggers

Sunday’s Six Sentence Story Word Prompt! – GirlieOnTheEdge’s Blog (wordpress.com)
It’s Six Sentence Story Thursday Link Up! – GirlieOnTheEdge’s Blog (wordpress.com)

26 thoughts on “Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 4

  1. Frank Hubeny 04/28/2021 / 6:40 pm

    They will likely have to get rid of those wrist bands. Good description of the tension involved in discerning the good guys from the bad guys.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/28/2021 / 6:49 pm

      Thanks Frank. As you may see further on, not having a wristband may be even more dangerous. 😉

  2. GirlieOnTheEdge 04/28/2021 / 8:30 pm

    Intense story, Susan. You have a knack for ending each installment with a cliffhanger, leaving us wanting more 🙂

  3. Liz H 04/28/2021 / 9:44 pm

    Right from the headlines. Such a sad situation!

  4. Reena Saxena 04/29/2021 / 3:15 am

    People do live in such hopeless situations 😦

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/29/2021 / 8:22 am

      There’s a lot of courage among the downtrodden. It’s a good lesson for all of us. Thanks!

  5. Chris Hall 04/29/2021 / 5:30 am

    You’ve raised the stakes splendidly in that final sentence, Susan. Really well done!

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/29/2021 / 8:20 am

      Your positive critique makes me happy. Please add suggestions for improvement when you notice them. I’m exploring and welcome guidance. 😊

      • Chris Hall 04/29/2021 / 9:13 am

        Will do… if I see any room for improvement. 🙂

  6. clark 04/29/2021 / 7:10 am

    Still, totally on the edge of my seat.
    (Not the easiest thing to do in this genre… meaning both Six (sentences) and serial story-telling)
    very well done and an excellent, if not suspenseful read.

  7. clark 04/29/2021 / 7:16 am

    As have said the others, ‘Very touching story’ and, also a well-told one.*

    * no secret that, for me, a part of the pleasure in reading Sixes such as this lies in seeing the construction, the arrangement of words that take a re-counting of fact (fiction or otherwise) and transform them into an engaging story.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/29/2021 / 8:14 am

      Much appreciated! I find the constraints of the prompt a good way of teaching me how to reveal information slowly which is an excellent story writing skill.

  8. UP 04/29/2021 / 8:50 am

    Very well done and very near where we are! Scary

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/29/2021 / 8:56 am

      Thank-you. I’d say you have an interesting view of the crisis but that kind of proximity must be frightening. 🙏

  9. jenne49 04/29/2021 / 4:34 pm

    I think I’m coming in some way through a story? But I really liked this episode and especially the tension of the last sentence.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/29/2021 / 6:28 pm

      There are the first three at the top of my categories under “6 Sentence Stories” if you’re interested. Thanks!

  10. ceayr 04/30/2021 / 3:40 am

    Jings!
    Just as well there are some good people out there, cos it seems like there’s a whole heap of baddies!

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/30/2021 / 6:24 am

      Bad guys have a way of standing out. Thanks for reading!

  11. Lisa Tomey 05/02/2021 / 3:50 am

    This story always keeps me on the edge. Well done.

    • Susan St.Pierre 05/02/2021 / 9:13 am

      Thank you! The research on the topic is even far more horiffying!

  12. TheHiddenEdge 05/02/2021 / 6:35 pm

    Shoot, Susan, this is just a little breather – isn’t it?

    • Susan St.Pierre 05/02/2021 / 6:37 pm

      Seems the intensity will build again. Thanks for reading! 😉

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