Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 3


Mig snaked his way through the tangled underbrush, in the day’s last light, where he’d seen that light-haired boy exit the road carrying his sister and, now that he could hear the trickle of a brook ahead, he figured that’s where he would choose to hide, so he kept weaving forward.

His purple plastic wristband (purchased for assigning safe passage through the upcoming cartel territories) infuriatingly became entangled on a jacaranda bush so he paused to listen for the kids as he struggled to unsnarl himself but instead of sounds of movement to his front, he heard voices from behind him.

There came two men with machetes clearing their own haphazard path with unguarded deliberation through the jungle-like growth, so he squatted to avoid being discovered because a purple band was of no use in the dark.

The full moon peeked above the hills in time for Mig to get a glimpse of the men as they passed his hiding spot; one was quite small and barked orders with authority, in a raspy high-pitched tone, at the other who had one arm hanging limply at his side and an odd off-balanced walk.

Abruptly, they stopped dead falling silent… listening… then pivoted back toward the road almost stepping directly on him as the bigger, lame, man hissed at his comrade, ” We’ll find that ‘ pequeño bastardo ‘ tomorrow when I can watch him suffer as I gut him.”

Mig waited so long before standing that his feet had fallen asleep, so he stretched, then cautiously continued picking his way toward the stream even more devoted to finding that boy, whom he owed a favor, before those assassins did.
It’s Six Sentence Story Thursday Link Up! – GirlieOnTheEdge’s Blog (

21 thoughts on “Six Sentence Story- Perilous Promises 3

  1. GirlieOnTheEdge 04/14/2021 / 9:49 pm

    Your serial story is aptly named!
    The dangers of these journeys are difficult to fathom. Those who make the trip must have tremendous determination notwithstanding a tremendous will to survive.

  2. clark 04/14/2021 / 10:05 pm

    Very nice work… establishing and maintaining a level of dramatic tension like this one? Not easy by a long shot.
    good Six

  3. UP 04/15/2021 / 12:46 am

    Well done!

  4. TheHiddenEdge 04/15/2021 / 4:08 am

    Drama from a different angle, hopefully, a slight breathing space for the kids; but I suspect not for long …? Brilliant.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/15/2021 / 7:06 am

      A new character offers more suspense and volume to the story, I believe. It gives more angles to go with. Thanks.

  5. Chris Hall 04/15/2021 / 9:31 am

    Heart in the mouth stuff, Susan! I’m really enjoying this. The introduction of a new character is a smart move 🙂

  6. Frank Hubeny 04/15/2021 / 1:38 pm

    Very suspenseful description of Mig hiding from the men.

  7. Pat Brockett 04/15/2021 / 5:59 pm

    This is so well done in the way you have engaged our senses as you have described the setting, the scenes, etc. Very suspenseful and the thought that this is the life of many children is awful.

  8. ceayr 04/16/2021 / 1:34 pm

    Jings, crivvens and help ma boab!
    This is tense stuff, Susan.

  9. Lisa Tomey 04/17/2021 / 6:10 pm

    Goodness…this pulls me in more and more.

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