Friday Fictioneers


The aroma of fried wonton and squid filled Lok’s nostrils as he made his usual downtown rounds.
He stopped by each shop and received a token of each proprietor’s appreciation then rested a moment while waiting to start his patrol.
Each restaurant closed its shutters and one by one doors were locked as the marketing district went to sleep.
All was still for only minutes before nighttime marauders made their move.
In an instant, Lok was after them!
Just the sight of him made them scatter and disappear.
One grateful stray cat proved cheaper and more efficient than any exterminator.

(100 words)
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple | Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

55 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers

  1. larry trasciatti 04/07/2021 / 9:31 pm

    It took me a minute to adjust to the idea that Lok was a cat. Even the most feral animal can serve a worthwile purpose

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/07/2021 / 9:33 pm

      Oh, so glad it misled you as I’d planned! You never know if it will work. 😁

      • minametry84 04/08/2021 / 5:09 am

        Shall i send you an email Susan?

      • Susan St.Pierre 04/08/2021 / 7:02 am

        I’d rather you didn’t. But appreciate your comments!

      • minametry84 04/08/2021 / 7:12 am

        Thank you Susan. Appreciated

  2. Tannille 04/08/2021 / 3:33 am

    Let’s hope Lok doesn’t get lazy. A fun take on the prompt.

  3. Iain Kelly 04/08/2021 / 3:47 am

    Brilliant set up and reveal, caught me with the twist!

  4. Sandra 04/08/2021 / 4:21 am

    You had me there. I thought it was a protection racket, which I suppose it was, in its way.

      • minametry84 04/08/2021 / 7:11 am

        Most welcome Susan. Kindly read my last blog, i need your ponit of view on. because i am really disappointed since yesterday

      • Susan St.Pierre 04/08/2021 / 7:14 am

        I certainly will. It won’t be immediately but soon. 🙂

  5. ahtdoucette 04/08/2021 / 8:09 am

    When my parents first opened a restaurant in Hawaii, they got a cat for just this purpose, or so my dad told me – one of those stories he’d tell over and over. Ever since then, my parents and now me have always been partial to cats. I love dogs, don’t get me wrong, but cats are as practical as they are adorable to have around, you know? Love it. So true.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/08/2021 / 8:16 am

      I love cats and dogs. I just use different parts of my heart! I understand you perfectly. Thanks. 🙂

  6. Mason Bushell 04/08/2021 / 11:12 am

    You painted a great visual of the prompt location with this one. I love how Lok does his duty even if nobody can see him. Well done, Susan.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/08/2021 / 11:15 am

      Animals are quite adept at learning routines. He likely hung around because they fed him and accidently found a delightful night life. Thanks! lol

      • Mason Bushell 04/08/2021 / 11:30 am

        For sure. Cats and indeed many creatures have learned to adapt to the ways of humans. To use them to get food and water. To subsist on the things they find a long way. It’s amazing really.

  7. trentpmcd 04/08/2021 / 2:29 pm

    lol, by the end I was thinking a watch dog and human marauders, but this is better.

  8. Russell Gayer 04/08/2021 / 9:22 pm

    You got me. The twist brought a chuckle. Well done.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/09/2021 / 7:27 am

      Thank you… it was a pleasure making you chuckle. 😀

  9. plaridel 04/08/2021 / 10:22 pm

    i thought he was one overweight cop. oh well, i was led astray again. 🙂

  10. draliman 04/09/2021 / 3:42 am

    Ha, I was thinking “protection money” and then security guard, the cat was a surprise 🙂

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/09/2021 / 7:23 am

      So happy that it played with your perception. My plan worked!

  11. James McEwan 04/09/2021 / 5:53 am

    Seems like a dream job for a perky cat. I like how you managed to turn this from a night watchman into a cat.

  12. rochellewisoff 04/09/2021 / 1:52 pm

    Dear Susan,

    Terrific misdirect. Going back and reading it a second time, knowing Lok was a cat put a whole new spin on the story. Loved it both times.

    Shalom and hearty meow,


  13. jenne49 04/09/2021 / 3:27 pm

    Yes, I thought it was a protection racket too! What a clever misdirect. Love it.

  14. earthskyair 04/09/2021 / 6:48 pm

    This is great! Love the twist, and the cat being the hero of the story.

  15. pennygadd51 04/10/2021 / 11:32 am

    Excellent take on the prompt! Nice to have a cat as the hero!

  16. msjadeli 04/10/2021 / 12:44 pm

    Such a fine story this is. I saw a documentary a few years back, “Kedi,” about the community cats of Istanbul, Turkey. Lok reminds me of one of the cats.

  17. GHLearner 04/10/2021 / 1:24 pm

    That was one perfect twist. Didn’t see it coming.

    • Susan St.Pierre 04/12/2021 / 10:46 am

      Thanks so much! Glad it worked. Writers are hard to fool. 😁

  18. oneta hayes 04/16/2021 / 11:00 pm

    I’m a week late reading. So glad I didn’t miss it. Great story. Easy to follow, with surprise ending. Love it.

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