Posted in Sideshows

The Long and Short for Mother’s Day

Bun length?

It occurred to me when looking at my “bun length” hot dog. Why do we need a system of weights and measures when people are happy with ambiguous measurements?

Think about it. What are the numerical measurements for these things ?:

1.a mouthful

2.a car length

3.a dollar’s worth

4.a lifetime (dog or human?) arm’s length (gorilla or human?) sized (personally,I think original size is more fun. Is there a constant for original sized?) and banquet sized meals keep me guessing!

8.Not every foot is twelve inches.

9.TV screens are measured diagonally to make you tip your head! Big screened is relative,don’t you think?

10.What in the world is an “eyeful” ? (Don’t say a tower in Paris,I’m way ahead of you!)

We used to tease my mother about having short legs. Her answer was,”They are long enough to reach the ground.”

A person cannot even count on numerical measurements! Two by fours are really one and a halfs by three and a halfs!

A big heart is not the same as an enlarged heart. Do big hearts differ in size? Enlarged ones do.

What makes a softball , a soft ball? The size or the texture?

The only constant,reliable,measurements I have ever witnessed, are contained within these comments that our mothers made!

1. Just one minute= 10 minutes

2.Just a couple of minutes= 20 minutes

3.Wait a few minutes= 30 minutes

Those a kid can count on!


I love a well told story. If it makes me laugh, all the better.

6 thoughts on “The Long and Short for Mother’s Day

  1. And of course, a Mother’s love is bigger than the universe and we all know how big that is! Loved this.

  2. This is so clever, Susan. Thank you! I especially had to laugh at your last three. I swear that my two little boys are going to grow up without any clear sense of time since my “Just a second!” is often ten minutes long!

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